


Love Me Out Of The Dark

by xoJoyBelleox



Category: GOT7
Genre: Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M, Resentment, Romance, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Therapy, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-05-28 08:12:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15044543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoJoyBelleox/pseuds/xoJoyBelleox
Summary: Mark Tuan is finishing up his senior year of high school, when a tragic event turns his entire world upside down.His friends and boyfriend try everything they can to help him, but realize they may not be able to.What do you do when you're surrounded by love but can't let it in?





	1. 01 (Introduction)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Um.. I haven't written fan-fiction in almost a decade (I consider myself kind of old) so this is pretty terrifying for me. I've been itching to write SOMETHING though and being that most of my free time is spent watching/following GOT7 (and Markson), I figured I'd take a swing at it.
> 
> I don't anticipate this to be too long, but I know first hand, writing can take you somewhere you never expected to go. It’s definitely gonna be a slow burn, however. Sidenote: The rating of this may change. Not sure. We shall see. 
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoy it. Please give lots of love If You Do (get it? ha). Thank you!
> 
> P.S. You can find me on Twitter. Same username! :)

 

The school bell rang loudly, signaling the beginning of Spring Break. Mark is finishing up his last year of high school and it honestly feels bizarre. Of course, there are spurts of nervousness. Who wouldn’t experience a case of the jitters in this situation? The real world is just around the corner and Mark has no idea what he is going to do once he graduates. Does he enroll into his first semester of college and start immediately in August? Or does he take a break to travel & experience life, which he’s heard some other students announce as part of their plan? Should he find a part-time job or should he just be a full-time student, focusing on his studies and continuing to be a financial burden on his parents?

His most persistent thought of all, is a bittersweet one. Actually… it’s just bitter.

Jackson.

Jackson is Mark’s boyfriend. They’ve been dating for several months and he’s never been happier. The problem is that he's in 11th grade. Mark has to leave him behind and he hates it. With all those thoughts running rampant in his mind since Christmas break ended, the upcoming week-long vacation is just what he needs to chill the fuck out.

Mark wants to cover his ears because the students seem louder than normal in the hallway but with his own excitement buzzing through his veins, he’s able to keep the urge at bay. The noise level is soon forgotten though, as he notices a figure in all black standing near his locker, scrolling on his phone. Mark grins to himself as he gets closer, re-adjusting his backpack straps.

“Gaga, how did you get over here so fast? Your class is on the opposite side of school.” Mark asked, entering the combination into his lock. He wasn't actually expecting an answer, because he already knew.

“Mark… you know I don’t give away my special secret skills. They’re what make Jackson Wang, Jackson Wang!” he replied.

Mark rolled his eyes once the locker was opened and put his things away. “You faked the need to go to the bathroom again, didn’t you?” Jackson let out a loud, high-pitched laugh that Mark has always loved; it makes him feel better. “Can’t I just be excited to see you?” Jackson asked, turning to face his boyfriend, leaning his head against the locker. Mark’s face started to heat up but he didn't respond. He hates (lies - he absolutely adores it) when he says things like that. Jackson noticed his ears turning a bright red and smirked, leaving a small kiss on Mark's cheek. “Come on, let’s go meet up with the fellas.” he stated, grabbing his hand. “We gotta start planning Spring Break out. It’s gonna be the best one yet, I can feel it!”

 

//

 

“About time, man. Took you guys forever!” BamBam said in exasperation. Mark smacked him on the head in response to that comment and then slid into the opposite side of the booth. Yugyeom waved at Mark, cackling at his best friend’s pain. The boys are currently in their favorite restaurant, The Chill Café. It’s a place that has unintentionally become a hangout or study spot for the students, due to its close location.

“Waddup. JB & ‘Nyoungie here, yet?” Jackson asked, sliding into the booth next to Mark, while looking around the dining area.

“Yeah. It’s their turn to buy the smoothies, so they’re in line”, Yugyeom explained. “By the way, Youngjae won’t make it. He has rehearsal or something.”

BamBam put his drink down onto the table and snickered. “Is that what he’s calling it?”

“--calling what?” Jinyoung chimed in, putting three smoothies onto the table. JB came around the corner right after, giving two others to Mark and Jackson, and then sipped on his own.

“Yeah, what does that mean, Bam?” Mark asked. Yugyeom and BamBam looked at each other and then snickered again.

“You two are so annoying. Just spill it.” JB finally said, sitting down next to Jinyoung. He knows something they consider juicy is bound to be discussed.

“Ugh, fine. You guys are no fun.” Yugyeom said, pretending to be annoyed. “Youngjae is talking to some dude in the choir. I don’t think it’s serious, though.”

“—yet!” BamBam interjected. “But we’ve been digging for some time now. He’s cute! I hope one of them make it official soon, they’re getting on my nerves with the back & forth.”

“Are you guys for real?" Jackson asked in disbelief. "Ya’ll have been playing hot potato with each other literally, for an eternity.”

The others laughed out loud, attracting some attention from other diners nearby. Yugyeom and BamBam have been pining for one another since they all can remember and neither one of them will just admit that they like each other or do something about it.

Yugyeom’s jaw dropped and BamBam opted to pick his phone back up, murmuring something under his breath, both clearly embarrassed.

 

 

They fell into an easy conversation after that. Once Spring Break plans were the topic of discussion, however, a slight discomfort fell into the pit of Mark’s stomach. He was again reminded that time like this with Jackson, is running out. He turned his eyes to his boyfriend and watched him talk about his upcoming fencing tournament. Mark really isn’t particularly listening to the conversation but he could watch him go on and on. Honestly, Jackson could probably do it if the challenge presented itself.

At that moment, Mark felt a tap on his foot and was pulled out of his inner thoughts. When he looked up, Jinyoung was staring back at him with an accusatory look on his face. Mark rolled his eyes and slid out of the booth. “We’ll be back.” he said. “Going to the bathroom.” Jinyoung followed close behind and then learned against the wall, waiting for Mark to spill.

Mark sighed. "I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Jinyoung asked, folding his arms against his chest.

“Of graduating. And… leaving him. ‘Nyoung. I’m gonna miss him so much.” Mark started to chew on his lip. It’s his first time vocalizing what he’s been feeling for a while now and it started to make his eyes sting a bit.

“Mark, you’re talking like you guys are breaking up… you’re just going to college – a local university at that. You guys will see each other.” Jinyoung seemed exasperated but Mark knows it’s a mechanism he uses to live up to his 'mom-like' nature.

“Yeah, I know but that’s not the same and you know it.” Mark said in response. It had a little bite to it because Mark knows Jinyoung feels the exact same way he does. JB is graduating, too. He and Mark actually plan to become roommates. They would prefer to get an apartment off campus, but that’s hopeful wishing. Mark mentally marked that as another bullet to add to his personal list of stress.

Jinyoung nodded, then looked down at the tiled floor. “So… what are you gonna do? You gonna break up with him?” he asked, looking back up after a quick beat. When he shoved his hands into the pockets of his dress pants, Mark smiled a bit. Jinyoung has the style of a 57 year-old man.

“Hell no. That’s not happening. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. But… I kinda want to make the end of my senior year special. I was thinking… about… you know…” Mark started to get nervous and rubbed at the back of his neck. He eventually looked up at Jinyoung, hoping his facial expression said everything that needs to be said.

Jinyoung’s eyes widened after a few seconds and Mark instantly regretted leaving the table. His best friend has always been insightful… maybe too insightful.

The little shit.

“Are you serious? You telling me you guys haven’t… but… I thought… " Jinyoung paused. He was in complete shock and had assumed Mark & Jackson had sex ages ago. "You two are always all over each other. I thought for sure you two have fucked by no—”

“OhhhhkaaaaaaayyyyyThisConversationIsOveeeeerrrrrrr!”, Mark yelled to no one in particular, successfully cutting Jinyoung off. Mark turned to the sink and began washing his hands as a distraction. Maybe if he did it long enough, Jinyoung’s foul mouth could be cleaned, too.

Jinyoung giggled and then washed his hands in the sink beside him. “Sorry. You know I didn’t mean it like… that. I just meant you guys are so… in sync. I assumed you guys have been physical already.”

Mark nodded, understanding exactly what Jinyoung is trying to say. “We’ve done… stuff. Just haven’t gone all the way. It hasn't even been six months, yet.”

“So? JB & I did it after 3 days of meeting each other. We weren’t even in a relationship.” Jinyoung said, chuckling to himself. He can’t believe he let JB smash that early. He doesn’t regret it, though.

It was amazing.

“You're such a whore.” Mark said jokingly.

Jinyoung smiled proudly at himself. “You wanna do it though, right? Like have you thought about it, at least?”

Mark nodded. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t wanna do it. Of course I want to. I’m not a virgin, I know that sex can feel good.” Jinyoung hummed in agreement. “I’m just scared… it’ll hurt.” 

Jinyoung looked back at him and deadpanned. “It does. It actually hurts like hell.”

Mark looked up at the ceiling and whined.

“But! —", Jinyoung continued, “It definitely gets better. It gets waaaaay, way better. Besides, you have a high pain tolerance. Jackson, on the other hand, does not. Oh my god, he’s such a punk, I swear.”

Mark slapped him on the chest. Jinyoung isn’t wrong, but still.

“Ow! Sheesh!” Jinyoung said, trying to rub the pain away. “Whatever, you know I’m right. Anyway, once you get past the pain, the good shit starts and then you get hooked. Especially if he knows how to find your spot.” he added with a smug grin.

Mark scoffed in disgust and opened the door to walk out of the bathroom. He doesn’t want to know any more details about his friend’s sex life. Jinyoung covered his mouth in laughter, and followed Mark out of the bathroom.

 

//

 

Mark pulled into Jackson’s driveway and turned his car off, opting to hang out for a while. They do this all the time and end up sitting in the car for hours, talking about everything or sometimes, nothing at all. Mark’s never been comfortable with a boyfriend (or girlfriend) the way he is with Jackson. Most people don’t even get to see this side of him. Jackson’s pretty popular at their school and is known to everybody as the class clown. He’s always making everybody laugh, demanding attention, including if he doesn’t want it. Even the teachers and staff love him. However, it has often become a burden for him. Jackson feels obligated to put on a show, when sometimes, he just wants to sit in the cut like everyone else and be left alone. Mark helps balance him out, as he’s ultimately his opposite, and because of that, they believe they’re a perfect fit.

“Aye… you good?” Jackson asked, looking at Mark, concerned.

Mark nodded. “Stressed.”

“School?” Jackson asked, grabbing Mark’s hand. He slotted their fingers together, then gently rubbed his thumb over the skin. It instantly calmed Mark’s nerves.

“All of it, really." Mark sighed. "Graduating. Finding a summer job. College bullshit. End of year senior activities that I really couldn’t care less about…”

“Except prom.” Jackson said, cutting in.

“Especially prom. Fuck no.” Mark retaliated.

Jackson removed his hand from Mark’s and put it over his chest, as if he just got shot. “C’mon Mark. You gotta go to prom! It’s… prom!”

“So what? Jack, you know I don’t care about that stuff.”

Jackson put his hands up, eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion. “What do you mean? You only get to be a senior once. Well… most people do. Yikes.”

Jackson laughed at his own joke and Mark smiled. His boyfriend is a dork.

“You want me to go with you?” Jackson asked.

Mark is surprised, to say the least. He honestly hadn’t even thought of that being an option because he really was dead set on not attending. “Gaga…”

“I’m serious, babe. I’ll be your date. We’ll have a blast. I just don’t want you to have any regrets. C’mon, please? For me?” Jackson poked bottom lip out, making it Mark’s turn to whine. He can never resist Jackson when he makes that face.

“I’ll think about it. Deal?” Mark asked, hoping Jackson would drop it.

“Woooooooo! I’ll take it!” Jackson said excitedly, smiling. Judging his reaction, Mark can already tell Jackson thinks he just got a definite yes.

"I'm doomed" Mark mumbles to himself.

 

 

An hour had passed of them just enjoying each other’s company, when Jackson yawns. Mark looked over at him and proceeded to turn the car back on.

“What are you doing?” Jackson asked, sitting up quickly.

“You’re tired, babe. Go inside and sleep.” Mark suggested.

“Nah, I’m good. I promise.”

“Jackson.”

“Mark.”

“…Jackson.”

“…………Mark.” Jackson said, staring back at him with a straight face.

Mark sat back in his seat and looked straight ahead, sighing heavily in fake annoyance. Why the fuck is his boyfriend so childish?

Jackson laughed at himself again and unbuckled his seat belt. “Okay, okay, you’re right. I’ll go. Sheesh. So bossy, babe.”

“I’m older than you, I can be that way. Get over it.” Mark barked back.

“Ah, the age card again. Okay, old man. I’m outta here. Got practice in the morning, anyway.”

Jackson picked his backpack up off the floor and opened the car door. Before he was able to get all of the way out, Mark reached over to the passenger side and yanked Jackson back towards the center of the car, by his shirt. Jackson yelped in surprise and then looked over at his boyfriend, who is just centimeters away from his face.

“Call me old man again… and you’re dead.” Mark said through his teeth. Jackson knows Mark’s not really upset. They’re just exploring the ‘push ‘n pull’ dynamic between that's ever-present in their relationship. Although Mark is more of an introvert and much quieter, he can assert his dominance when he wants to. Same with Jackson – he knows when to fall back and be more submissive.

Jackson smirked. His boyfriend is hot. “Maybe next time babe… gimme kiss.”

Mark smirked back and gave him a kiss. It's short but sweet. “Love you.” he whispered into his boyfriend’s plump lips.

Jackson pecked Mark on the lips one more time, then smiled. “Love you, too.” He picked his backpack up once again and then exited the car. “Text me when you get home, 'kay?” Mark nodded as he watched Jackson shut the door and walk up the driveway. Once he waved Mark off and went inside, Mark backed out to head home.

_“Here's to a fun Spring Break...”_

 

//


	2. 02

Clothes fly left and right throughout Mark’s room as he panics, looking for his wallet. He can’t remember where he put it and he’s already running late. The boys have a trip to the beach planned for the day and he would hate to be the reason they fall behind, stuck in California’s early-evening traffic. It’s literally the worst.

His phone begins to ring and at this point, he’s aggravated. Now, he can’t find that either and his bedroom is a complete mess. He knows his mom is going to nag him about it when he gets back and he hates having a fun day, only for it to be ruined by a lecture when he gets home.

Just when he finds his phone buried underneath a pair of his favorite sweatpants, he hears his mother call for him from downstairs.

“Mark, sweetie! Jackson’s here!” she said loudly.

“Okay, mom, I’ll be down in a sec! Don’t let him—" Mark replied, just in time to see his door struggling to be opened. A few seconds later, a head popped in from around it and Mark grimaceed to himself.

“Woah… what the hell happened in here?” Jackson asked, looking around the room. Mark is no clean freak, as most boys his age aren’t, but this is the first time Jackson has ever seen it so bad. He shoved the door open to get all the way inside and proceeded to pick up the clothes that were in its path.

“I can’t find my wallet. Been looking for it all morning.” Mark said, exasperated. "The guys are outside, aren’t they?” He sighed harshly when Jackson nods.

To be frank, he’s tired, annoyed and hungry. His stomach had just growled and he realizes he hasn’t even eaten, yet. It’s past noon so breakfast is most likely already gone.

It’s absolutely gone, if his greedy ass brother is awake.

“Ok, ok. When’s the last time you remember having it?” Jackson asked, putting the pile of clothes on Mark’s bed and then looks up at him.

“Um…” Mark paused, thinking hard. “I went to get frozen yogurt with Joey the other day.”

“What did you have on?”

Mark looked up at the ceiling and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Black jeans." There's a pause because he's really just guessing. He has no idea. "I think.”

“The ripped ones?”

“Yeah!” Mark’s eyes lit up, as he moved quickly toward his closet, for his hamper. He dug through his dirty laundry only to find the pair of jeans with the wallet sitting snugly in a side pocket. “Yes!" he yelled out triumphantly, putting it into his backpack. “Thanks, babe.”

Jackson gave him a small smile and nod. “You good, now?”

“Yeah, yeah! Let’s go.” Mark responded, turning off his bedroom light.

Mark hopped down the steps, with Jackson following closely, only to run into his brother.

“Dude! Can you watch where you’re going?” Joey cried out, voice slightly muffled. He’s got a sandwich in his mouth, a plate of potato chips in one hand and a drinking glass in the other.

Anyone from the outside looking in would think Mark & Joey have the typical sibling relationship; a relationship where Mark, being the oldest, bullies his brother relentlessly and Joey, the youngest, is clingy and annoying. Of course, they bicker. Most siblings do. However, they’re actually really close. Mark doesn’t know if it’s because they’re the youngest of the four, they’re both boys or because it’s just been them in the house for a while now. Tammy went off to college almost two years ago and Grace just graduated college. It could be a combination of all those things.

Sometimes, very late at night, they go in each other’s bedrooms to spill out their worries and darkest secrets. Neither one of them can recall when that first began but they believe it may have started when Mark finally came out to his family as gay. Since he could remember, Mark had been pretending to like girls. Once he realized he really liked Jackson as more than a friend, he didn’t want to pretend anymore.

He physically couldn’t.

At one point, Mark’s parents noticed that his grades were slipping and that he was consistently losing a significant amount of weight. His parents knew something was wrong, especially his mother, and they decided to finally approach him about it. Joey walked in on his older brother crying to their parents. They all thought he was asleep so to say that Mark was distressed all over again, would be an understatement. It took Mark a little while to admit his sexuality to his little brother but once he did it, he was relieved. Joey’s acceptance -- nonchalance of the matter, even -- soothed Mark more than he thought it would. He was beyond grateful to have such a supportive and loving family.

That night was the most difficult night of his life. It was also the night he and his little brother became best friends.

“My bad, Joey.” Mark replied apologetically, grabbing a bagel from the counter. The bag falls to the floor but Mark is in such a rush, that he doesn't even notice. “We’re running late.”

“Where are you guys going?”

“Beach. I’ll bring you something back, k?”

“Yeah, whatever. Later!” Joey responded, heading upstairs to his bedroom with his lunch.

 

//

 

“LET’S GOOOOOO!” BamBam screamed into the SUV in excitement. They’ve finally made it onto the highway, meaning the trip has officially begun. He's violently shaking his head back and forth, mouth hanging open, making strange gargling noises and everyone is cracking up. BamBam was the eccentric one of the group. He has the weirdest sense of humor and an awkward personality but it worked. Just like Jackson, he was a mood-maker.

The sun was shining, the skies were clear and the wind flowing into the open windows was warm. Mark smiles to himself, as he watches other cars and city building pass by in a blur. He has always loved the water, ever since he was little. His dad used to call him a fish. Either that or a cock but that bit he tries his hardest to never see the light of day. It’s a reference to his Chinese zodiac sign but they live in America where it usually means something… totally different.

“Snacks, anyone?” Jinyoung asked from the passenger seat, not actually waiting for a response. Mark perks up and away from his thoughts, reaching his hands out. Food! Jinyoung pulls a large bag onto his lap and verbalizes what he has stashed away. He tosses the packages over his headrest so that the boys can grab what they asked for.

“You got Twizzlers?” Youngjae asked, loudly from the third row. He’s currently sandwiched between the two youngest of the group.

Jinyoung nodded as if his friend can see and passes the package to Jackson, who passes it back to Yugyeom who then hands it to Youngjae.

“Hey Youngjae…” Mark said, hesitantly. He knows this next question will stir the guys up but he just can’t help it. “Is your boyfriend coming?”

Yugyeom and BamBam howl in unison, causing Youngjae to blush. Youngjae reaches up to hit Mark on the shoulder a few times, while trying to suppress his laughter. He knows they’re teasing him because he is supposedly ‘the shy one’ of the group. The guys are all happy he’s finally starting to put himself out there but still – it drives him nuts when they put him on the spot like this.

“Hey! He’s not my boyfriend, shut the hell up!” Youngjae exclaimed, answering the question.

Mark laughed, opening a bag of Cheetos. “Well then, what is he?”

“Yeah and what’s his name, again?” Jaebum asked, eyes glancing at Youngjae through the rear-view mirror. “You never really talk about him, with us.”

“I’m not telling you guys, yet. And it’s because you guys are annoying and insist on embarrassing me. I know if I bring him around, it’ll be even worse.”

“No it won’t. We promise.” Jackson said, turning back to Youngjae, grinning mischievously.

“Jackson, don’t lie. We will embarrass him… especially you!” Jinyoung said, giggling. He’s got his hands full of chocolate flavored Pocky sticks and decided to feed one to JB.

Jackson threw his head back in laughter but one loud smack to the shoulder ended all of that, immediately.

Youngjae sat back and took a bite of his Twizzler, wearing the biggest smile on his face.

 

//

 

Mark watched Yugyeom’s long legs move as he ran towards the water at full speed. He tripeds right when his feet reached the ends of the waves, faceplanting onto the wet sand. He can hear BamBam and Youngjae squawking in the distance and for him, that sealed the deal that today was going to be a blast.

“Jack, I’m gonna go set it up.” Jaebum said, jogging out into the bright sand with volleyball equipment.

“Cool, I’ll be out there in a minute!” Jackson called out towards him. He’s put sunblock on most of his body but he’s currently short-circuiting, trying to figure out how to get some on his back. His eyebrows are furrowed out of pure confusion.

Mark took the bottle from him, shaking his head. “I got it, babe.”

Mark sat on the bench, legs spread open to make space. Jackson planted himself right in front of him, sighing the moment Mark’s hands make contact. He’s always loved Mark’s hands. They’re firm, but very gentle, compared to his own. After a while, Jackson closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, rolling his shoulders back in tiny circles. The lotion has been rubbed into his skin some time ago but they’ve both clearly slipped into a moment they’ve forgotten others can see. Mark continued to slowly knead Jackson’s upper back, shoulders and the back of his arms with his fingers, when he looked over to his right.

Jinyoung is staring at them.

Although his eyes are hidden behind dark sunglasses, the knowing smirk, is very visible.

Mark felt exposed under his gaze and immediately turned away. When he slid his pressured thumb down his spine, Jackson groans. It’s not too loud but Mark hears it, clearly. He’s not sure if Jinyoung heard it but if he did, there’s no clear indication. Mark's skin began tingling so he stopped moving his hands and tapped Jackson where they’ve frozen.

“All done…”

Jackson rolled his shoulders one more time, then turned to Mark. He looks relaxed, which makes Mark’s skin tingle even more. He did that for him. “That felt amazing. Thanks, babe.”

Mark gave him a small grin. “I’ll play with you guys later. Wanna tan.”

When Jackson jogged to the sand to play a game with Jaebum, Mark leaned back into the chair to get comfortable and lay out.

“Interesting…” Jinyoung said, face hidden behind his book.

“Oh, fuck off.” Mark said, embarrassed but still smiling. He started to apply the lotion onto himself then placed sunglasses over his eyes.

Jinyong crossed his legs at the ankles and put the book face down onto his chest, returning the smile. “Have you given him an answer about prom, yet?”

Mark looked up at him with his mouth slightly ajar, hand stopping over his chest. “How—”

“Oh, please. Beommie told me. Y’know he tells me everything. And Jackson tells him everything. So…”

“Ugh. Damn. He really wants to go, doesn’t he?” Mark asked, feeling just a bit of pressure.

“Mark. It's prom. It really isn’t that big of a deal. He just wants to share that with you… before you leave. I hope you know you’re not the only one worried about this.”

“He’s worried, too?"

“Yes. He is. Obviously it isn’t as bad as you, y’know, with the college stuff you have to deal with but he told JB he hates that you’re leaving. According to him, Jackson's literal words were, ‘Dude… I’m gonna miss the fuck outta him.’" Jinyoung hesitated, to look at Mark’s reaction. “You guys are so cute. I wanna hurl.”

Mark pouted a little. It’s partly because he feels all mushy inside and partly because he realizes he’s been selfish throughout all of this. He didn’t even consider that Jackson could be hurting inside, too. The two of them handle stress a lot differently but had Mark asked, he would know what was going on in Jackson’s head. Jackson's always been honest and never afraid to be vulnerable with him.

Great. Now he feels even worse.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m going to prom, too.” Jinyoung continued, putting his book back into his bag.

“Really?” Mark asked, perking up. Jinyoung being there would totally make him more comfortable.

“Yeah. JB was going, anyway. You know he does photography for Yearbook so he has no choice but to go. And I’ll be damned if I let another bitch push up on him. Guy or girl.”

Mark laughs at that statement. Jinyoung is such an actor. He presents himself in such a way that has adults believing he is the most mature and well-behaved teenager on the planet. When in reality, a huge naughty side exists. He can be a mischievous drama queen when he wants to be. And don’t you dare cross him. He’s petty and can holds grudges forever. With all of that present though, Jinyoung is still an amazing friend. Trustworthy, caring, understanding, and honest – maybe to a fault some moments, but he always knows when it’s necessary. He is definitely the mother of the group.

“By the way, don’t think I didn’t hear Jackson making sex noises when you were practically giving him a massage.” Jinyoung said, face scrunched up in disgust. “The audacity of you two to do that in front of me, what the hell.”

“Oh my god!” Mark yelled out. He put the towel over his face and dead-weighted in his chair. He is mortified. He really thought that moment only slipped past him.

“Stop your whining. I’m ready for you guys to bang already.” Jinyoung persisted.

“Leave me aloooooooone!” he said, whining through the towel.

“Mark, listen. Seriously…” Jinyoung says, standing up and patting him on the shoulder. “You’re ready, I can tell. Get out of your head, alright? It’s okay to want your boyfriend.”

Mark slowly lifted the towel off his face to look up at his friend. He was expecting to be on the receiving end of judgement but what he got instead, was a look of reassurance. Jinyoung was right. It’s just prom, it’s not brain surgery. He should create as many memories with Jackson as he can. So, that's exactly what he's going to do.

Mark sighed and stood up, as well.

“Let’s go play.”

 

//

 

The fellas had played in the water, completed several rounds of volleyball, soccer, football and frisbee, all while snacking on hot dogs in between. This is the longest they’ve ever spent at the beach and now they understand why people can’t stay for too long. The sun can be draining; they are worn out. Peak sunlight hours have passed and the energy of the beach crowd has changed. There are still many people in the area but instead of the middle-aged crowd with their young kids running around in pure joy and excitement, there are a lot more college kids, just hanging out. It’s not quite late enough for the sun to be setting but it isn’t blazing anymore, either.

Mark is standing in the water alone. He’s facing the horizon, the water bouncing around his hips, making him sway a bit. He’d like to go in deeper but the water is harsher further out and he no longer has the energy to withstand it. Once he closes his eyes, he begins to soak in the moment. The cool breeze, the seagulls singing and the sound of the waves crashing behind him. This trip was such a good idea. He leaves a mental note to thank whoever thought of it. His end-of-the-year jitters have subsided to the back of his mind, which is what he was hoping for. He needed to forget the stresses of being a senior, if only for a short period of time.

Mark is lost deep in his thoughts, when he feels a pair of strong arms wrap around him. He jumps in surprise, making Jackson laugh. Mark pinched the skin on the top of his hands in retaliation, leading Jackson to hiss in slight pain and let go.

“You scared me. Asshole.” Mark said, smirking to himself. “That’s what you get for laughing.”

“Your damn nails. Sheesh.” He kisses Mark’s cheek as a way to apologize. “You tired, yet?”

Instead of answering him, he leaned back against Jackson’s chest.

Jackson decides it’s safe to wrap his arms around him, once again. “Hope you had fun… I know you’ve been stressed.”

Mark turns and drapes his arms over Jackson’s shoulder. These are the moments that he loves the most. Jackson is very warm. He exudes a body heat that’s extremely comforting, to say the least. Not to mention, his eyes. Jackson has big brown puppy eyes, that you just want to swim in for hours on end. They make Mark melt inside and that’s what hooked him in the first place.

“Hey…” Jackson murmured quietly, rubbing his own nose against Mark’s to get his attention. “You hear me?”

“Oh yeah, sorry. I did. I had fun.”

“What's wrong, then? You seem a little sad.”

Mark looked down at the water then back into Jackson’s eyes. “I wanna, um… talk to you about something. Apologize, actually.”

“For what?”

“I, uh… I talked to Jinyoung. And he reminded me of something I didn’t even think about, which makes me a shitty boyfriend.”

“Mark, stop. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You’ve never been a shitty boyfriend.”

Mark wants to die; his boyfriend is so sweet.

“Except that one time we put laxatives in your—”

Just that quick, the tender moment has evaporated.

“Jackson! You promised!” Mark whined in embarrassment. He squeezed around Jackson’s neck tighter, out of slight anxiety.

Mark lost to Rock, Paper, Scissors some time ago, leaving him vulnerable to a prank. He’d never know when it would take place or where; he just knew it would come. It finally happened at a house party. The boys put liquid laxative in his drink and no less than an hour later, he was shitting his pants – literally. Apparently BamBam and Yugyeom poured three times the directed dosage in. Jackson regretted it instantly, took Mark home and promised never to speak of it, moving forward. Mark thought he’d never live the humiliating incident down. His peers have just now stopped harassing him about it, thank god.

Jackson's laughter calmed down as he held his boyfriend tighter. “Okay, okay. Sorry. What are you apologizing for? I’m listening, I promise.”

Mark narrows his eyes but continues nonetheless. “I have been stressing about school but my main concern has—has been you. Leaving you, I mean. It’s gonna be weird not having you around like you are now. I hate even thinking about it so I already know actually going through it is gonna suck ass.”

Jackson nodded, going out of his way to make sure Mark knows he has his undivided attention.

“But I never asked how you’re feeling about all of this, which is selfish of me. You’re always smiling and being positive, so I kinda just—I assumed it didn’t really bother you…are you even sad?”

Jackson looks at Mark in surprise before pulling him into a hug. He can’t believe Mark would even ask that question. “What? Of course I’m sad you’re leaving, I love you.”

Mark's eyes started to sting so he tries to blink the sensation away, staring at a beauty mark on Jackson’s shoulder. He’s not about to cry right now.

“Part of me doesn’t want you to graduate but the even bigger part of me knows it’s dumb to even expect another outcome. You can’t stay in high school with me Mark, you’ll be a loser.”

Mark giggled into Jackson’s skin. He’s right, that would be such a loser move.

“You can’t stop living for me. Besides… it’s not like you’re moving far away. We’ll see each other on the weekends; maybe some weeknights, too. Oh! There’s always FaceTime or Skype. Jae told me you guys were thinking about moving in together. Now, that would be awesome.” Jackson backs away a bit, to see Mark’s face. “Can you imagine? You having your own place? You can do whatever you want! We…” Jackson pauses for a second, and then smirks, making his eyebrows bounce playfully. “We can do whatever we want.”

Mark laughs out loud, fully understanding what Jackson is insinuating.

“What? I’m serious!” Jackson said in between his own chuckles “I’ll be the it guy at school; more than I already am, of course. “Like, dude… my boyfriend is hot. He’s in college. He’s got his own car and place. I’m actually getting kinda excited, now that I think about it…”

The potential of Jackson’s new social life next year started to flow through his mind like a mental photo gallery and he began rambling about the images in his head. Mark is smiling hard, not listening to a word he’s saying. How in the hell did he get so lucky? The relationship these two have is the type of shit you see in movies and here he was – living in a teenage dream.

Mark planted his lips on Jackson’s in that moment, causing Jackson to choke on his words in surprise. After a split second however, he instinctively kisses Mark back, pulling him even closer than he was before. It dawns on Mark that this is their first time making out in the ocean and he smiles into the kiss. Jackson feels it and smiles, too. He’s just about to ask why he’s smiling when they hear a child speaking faintly in the background.

“Mommy, look! Boys kissing.”

Jackson and Mark pull away immediately, snickering to themselves. They didn’t mean to get this carried away in public. Although, that’s more of Jinyoung and JB’s style, Mark can’t say he didn’t enjoy it just a little. Maybe, just maybe, he sees the appeal. They both watch the mother drag the child through the water, further away from them. She’s furious and appalled.

Jackson shrugged to himself, still watching. “Old hag.”

“Hey…” Mark said, softly. He grabbed Jackson’s face to turn it toward him. “My answer is yes.”

Jackson wore a look of confusion on his face. “Yes? Yes, to what?”

“Prom.”

Mark watched his boyfriend’s eyes light up first, then his smile right after. Next thing he knows, he's screaming because Jackson picked him up and is spinning him around in circles. He’s making a huge scene and Mark literally wants to hide in the water and drown.

“Jack! Jack, put me down!” Mark calls out through laughter.

Jackson put him down and lays a big kiss on his lips. “What made you change your mind!?”

“I told you… I’ve been selfish.” Mark replied, gently rubbing his thumb on Jackson’s cheek and looking him in the eyes. “I want to share that with you. It’ll be fun. I always have fun with you.”

Just then, Jackson turned in excitement, screaming at the top of his lungs. “JINYOUNGGGG!” He called out, taking off at full speed toward their tent. The water slowed him down greatly but Jackson was set on tackling his friend in gratitude. Once Jinyoung realized what was happening, he tried his hardest to run away.

He fails, of course. Miserably.

Mark noticed the others packing up and takes that as a cue that it’s time to go home. He slowly exited the water, smiling to himself. He’s going to thank Jinyoung later. Had it not been for him, Mark probably would have said no and just the thought of him declining the offer, disappoints him a little.

Mark promised to himself in that moment, to try to be a little more open; at least for Jackson’s sake.

He’d do anything to see him this happy, again.

//

The streets are dark and quiet. BamBam, Yugyeom and Youngjae have already been dropped off home. Jaebum, who’s driving, is having a quiet conversation with Jinyoung. Jackson is in the seat behind them, beaming from the inside, out. Mark agreeing to be his prom date, was the highlight of the day. Jackson’s not sure why prom is a big deal but it is. Maybe it’s because society packages it as a mini-wedding reception just for teenagers. Maybe it’s because he’s never seen Mark in a tux and vice versa. Now that he thinks about it, they’ve never seen each other dressed up, at all.

Jackson looks to his left to watch his boyfriend sleep. Through the window, the yellow streetlights are casting shadows on his face and it makes him look like an angel. He’s snuggled up to his chin in Jackson’s sweatshirt and honestly, it’s the cutest shit ever. Mark may be older but he’s also the more adorable one. At least, in Jackson’s eyes.

At first, Jackson was relieved Mark said yes. He didn’t tell Mark at the beach that the real reason he wanted to go to prom is because he knew if he didn’t go with himnow, he’d wouldn’t experience it at all. He didn’t want to guilt Mark into saying yes for him, but it’s the truth. On top of that, he’d look like a hypocrite – telling his boyfriend that it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, only to dismiss it further down the line, himself.

But now that he knows they’ll be going to the event, he’s actually a lot more nervous. A thousand thoughts start to race through his mind. What am I gonna wear? Will we match or color coordinate? What are my parents gonna think when I bring home a male prom date? He still hasn’t told his parents that he’s bisexual. Should I book a hotel? Jackson starts to internally freak out. What if we decide to go all the way?! He doesn’t mind waiting but he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t want to be physical with Mark. He’s thought about it the moment he laid eyes on him. But what if Mark’s still not ready? Will the hotel be too much pressure? Jackson lays his head against the headrest, chewing on his lip.

Whatever happens, he has to make sure that the night is unforgettable, for Mark.

Jackson has to make sure he is unforgettable.

He gently shook Mark once the car stopped alongside the curb, to wake him up. “Babe, you're home.”

Mark whined a little, stretching his legs. Jackson thought he was about to sit up but then he turned away and cuddled into the sweatshirt even more.

“Big baby.” Jinyoung said, reaching back to push at Mark’s knee. “Wake up, Mark! My boyfriend and I wanna go home and have SEX.”

Jaebum was about to take a swig from his bottled water when he cut his eyes at Jinyoung, in surprise. “You forreal?”

Jackson has frozen to look at them in disbelief. These two have absolutely no shame, whatsoever.

“I just said it to wake him up but I mean…” Jinyoung trailed off, giving JB a look.

Jaebum quickly turned in his seat to shake Mark’s knee with a lot more aggression. “Aye, man! You gotta go... Mark!”

Jinyoung sat up straight in his seat, grinning to himself. He always gets what he wants.

“Ugh. I’m up. I’m up!” Mark said in annoycance, shoving JB’s hands away. He hates when his sleep is interrupted but he hates thinking about his friend having sex, even more. “I hate you guys, seriously. Fuck.”

“That’s the plan.” Jinyoung bit back. “And I love you too.”

“Jesus, Jinyoung.” Jackson said, laughing a little and helping Mark out of the car. “So crass.”

“That’s fine. He’ll call me tomorrow whining about how much his ass hurts!” Mark spat out, jokingly. Jaebum and Jackson are doubled over, cracking up, causing Jinyoung's jaw to drop. However, a split second later, there's a sneaky look in his eye. In that moment, Mark realizes that he just set himself up for the perfect comeback, so he harshly opens Jinyoung’s car door, to shut him up. “Not. Another. Word.”

Jinyoung joins in on the laughter, covering his mouth. He was definitely going to joke about Mark feeling the same pain... eventually

Mark held his middle finger up at his friends as a nice goodbye gesture, then started to walk up the driveway with Jackson. The grass has just been watered by the automatic sprinklers so the closer the two get to the front door, the more it smells like rain. They both love the smell of rain.

“So tired.” Jackson said, yawning. He pulled Mark closer to wrap his arms around his waist. “Had fun?”

Mark nodded, leaving feather-like kisses on his jaw. “Mhm…” He breathed in at the pulse point in Jackson’s neck, then leaves kisses there, too. Mark doesn’t realize it but Jackson is fighting the urge to pin him against the front door; he's driving Jackson crazy.

“You still smell good. How is that possible? I smell like the ocean.” Mark noted, slightly jealous.

Jackson shrugged. “Shit, I don’t know. Genetics.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Jackson, shut the hell up and kiss me.”

When their lips meet, there’s a bolt of electricity running through their bodies, that they’ve never felt prior to now. Neither one of them acknowledge it, in fear that the other doesn’t feel the same but the sensation just makes them move even closer and kiss even harder. Jackson’s hands move slowly down Mark’s back and sit still at his ass. He's just about to squeeze when they both hear the car horn.

“Yooo! Hurry up!” JB yelled from the car window.

Mark and Jackson jumped apart at the intrusive sound. For what feels like an eternity, their chests rise and fall, as they try to catch their breath. Mark subconsciously touched his own bottom lip, then looked up. Jackson's already staring back with a face he's never seen before and it sends a chill down his spine.

Something has just changed.

They both can hear the couple having a silly disagreement in the car from where they’re standing and the mood lightens up again. Jinyoung wants to get home too but doesn’t want JB to rush them. He feels a sense of accomplishment because of what he did for his friends today and doesn’t want to miss any of the aftermath. He's nosy like that.

Jackson rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and chuckles a bit. “Ok, I should - I should get going before JB gets blue balls or something... love you. I'll text you when I get home.”

“Okay. Love you, too.” Mark put the key into the front door and stepped inside the house. Jackson was just about to leave when he notices Mark still has his sweatshirt.

“You gonna give that back or nah?”

“Nope.” Mark replied, playfully poking his around the door. “Just another reason for you to come back, right?”

Jackson scoffed while slowly walking backwards towards the car. “I was coming back regardless, babe. I hope you know that.” He pulled his hat down low in front and smirked, purposely adding a smug effect to his words.

Mark’s stomach does flips again and he smiles.

“Yeah… I do.”

//


	3. 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter took me more time to write as I wasn't sure how I wanted to outline the pacing. For those that care, sorry for the wait. Lmao.
> 
> The next chapter will most likely include prom night and that's when the story will slowly turn into the other direction. So for those of you who were waiting on angst (*whispers* and adult stuff), it's on the way!
> 
> In the meantime, please enjoy more foundation & fluff. 
> 
> ^_^

The sound of buzzing continuously went off in Mark’s bedroom, causing him to wake up in annoyance. The boys were obviously cutting up in the group chat because that’s the only time his phone wouldn’t stop vibrating.

He blinked his eyes several times so that they could re-focus and then rolled over onto his back, groaning in pain. His entire body was aching from his calves all the way up to his neck. The fellas went out for paintball the day before and although Mark was no stranger to the activity, he’s noticed he tends to underestimate the toll it takes on his body.

There were just a couple days left of the break and that expectant feeling of knowing something good is coming to an end, began to bite at Mark. It wasn’t particularly a negative feeling but if Mark could relive it a few more times, he would. It’s been the most eventful school break he’s had since he was in middle school and that realization had Mark basking in a sense of accomplishment. Since he had consciously made it a goal at the beginning to form as many amazing memories as he could, he felt proud of himself. So far, he’s been successful. The guys have been enjoying all types of fun together including visits to an amusement park, a water park, a few games of laser tag, a few trips to the movies. They’ve even been enjoying the simple things too, like just hanging out at the mall or playing at the park for hours on end.

For him, the best part of the break has been the time he’s got to spend with Jackson. Every night they’ve been talking on the phone well into the wee hours of the late night. It was to the point where Joey would sometimes have to knock on Mark’s bedroom door, telling him to shut the fuck up with his incessant high-pitched giggling. This, of course, makes Jackson cackle on the other end, thus making Mark laugh even harder. Mark’s made a mental note of treating his brother before they return to school as a small way to apologize.

The couple have also enjoyed a few amazing dates, that were much needed. It wasn’t to say that they both didn’t enjoy hanging out with their crew but they both learned early on that being alone brought on a feeling that they’d never experience when the others were around. Their friends can be a lot for people to take in and that energy doesn’t disappear once you really get to know them; it actually gets more intense. Honestly, Mark could do without the constant teasing if he wanted to sit on Jackson’s lap, rub at Jackson’s thighs or be the only one laughing at his silly jokes. Sometimes he’d catch himself staring, whether it be because he’s in his own head or because he’s soaking in Jackson’s handsome face. Before he even realizes he’s staring, his best friend has already caught him.

It’s almost like Jinyoung finds joy in tormenting him.

Strike that – that’s exactly what it is.

One date in particular, is at the very top of his list. Jackson called him early in the morning (honestly it was 10am but for him, that’s early) and asked him to come to the park. Mark was reluctant because he wanted to sleep in for another couple of hours but after non-stop begging and whining from his boyfriend, Mark finally agreed.

He’s so glad he did.

He was instructed to walk to a specific tree and when he got there, Mark melted inside. There was a small picnic set up and he saw himself living in a fairy-tale. Jackson had laid out two blankets with a large basket sitting in the middle full of fruits and yummy steamed dumplings. He also had a tent-for-two propped up so when they had finished their meal, they shared a two hour nap.

It’s the best nap Mark has ever had.

It’s the best date Mark’s every been on.

As the days have passed, there’s also been this unfamiliar, yet amazing, sexual tension brewing between the two of them and Mark’s not sure if Jackson has noticed it or not. He wants to ask him if he felt it too but just like always, he’s too hesitant to just take the leap. Mark’s been looking at him differently and it’s eating away at him; in a good way.

Jackson’s body has begun to form into something Mark has daydreamt of having next to him… on top of him, if he’s being honest. His shoulders have broadened out, his arms have grown significantly and his thighs – God, his thighs – are to die for. His hands are a bit firmer now, too, and Mark finds himself constantly wanting to hold them in his own. Due to school being out, Jackson has been practicing a lot more for his fencing tournament so his body could have very well been changing right in front of his eyes. However, Mark knows that’s not why he gets chills every time he receives the most innocent touches.

Ever since Jinyoung told him that it was okay to desire Jackson, Mark has slowly been tearing down the wall of apprehension, brick by brick. He isn’t a virgin as he’s been with his fair share of girls. He’s been with a guy before too, but in that case, he was the top and neither of them were exactly sober. It’s not a moment Mark likes to revisit because he barely remembers it and the pieces he does remember, weren’t that great. He vaguely remembers the other boy being in a lot of pain, at the beginning. Even though the boy never asked him to stop, and Mark was uncomfortable watching, he continued anyway. Mark’s almost positive that boy never had anal sex before and it clouded him with a guilty feeling that he couldn’t shake for a long time. He woke up with the worst hangover and when he realized there was a nude body lying next to him, he ran out of the room in a panic.

That was his first memory with a boy and he regrets it, to this day. When he finally got home, he called Jinyoung with tears running down his face. Mark honestly felt dirty and confused and he wasn’t exactly sure why. He had already come out to his friends and family, he was pretty sure he was content with his own sexuality, so he couldn’t understand where the negative feelings were coming from. He chalked it up to the possibility that he could’ve been hurting another person, even if that person was a stranger and did end up enjoying himself when all was said and done. Regardless of the reasoning though, it did not sit well with Mark, at all.

Once Mark had calmed down, Jinyoung hung up and showed up in his bedroom less than an hour later with two tubs of ice cream. They pigged out on the bed and Mark spilled out his emotions for a second time, something he didn’t know he needed until it was done. Jinyoung told him that he probably just felt bad because he wanted his first time with a guy to be a little bit more special than what he had just went through. Jinyoung also warned him that Mark should probably get tested for STDs and before he could panic all over again, Jinyoung promised he’d get tested with him. That was the day Mark learned of a certain Im Jaebum and the conversation, from that point on, became much easier.

Mark hasn’t seen that boy, since.

Frankly, he’s thankful. That’s a chapter he hopes to never have to read again. Mark is sure that occurrence is partly why he’s so hesitant to have sex with Jackson.

Another explanation, his favorite, is that Mark is in love.

Deep in love.

Being in love makes him want to be the perfect sexual partner. He’s not exactly sure how to bottom and he doesn’t want to be an embarrassment. He’s aware that’s a lot of pressure to put on himself, as couples typically get better at sex after continuing to learn one another. He’s also certain Jackson would never make fun of him and he’s one hundred percent positive he wouldn’t mind practicing as much as he can but again… overthinking is what Mark does.

Then, there’s the obvious pain that comes with anal penetration. With a ton of tips from Jinyoung (including a brand new toy that Mark swears he’s never going to use) and some help from Google, he knows it can be enjoyable. Getting to the enjoyment is the part many bottoms struggle with.

The night he was dropped off home from the beach, Mark felt like he would explode kissing Jackson. Once he double – no, triple checked – that his bedroom door was locked, he grabbed the lube from the back of his nightstand drawer and began exploring himself from behind, for the first time. It took him a minute to get used to the feeling of a finger up his ass but by the third digit, Mark was covered in a thin sheet of sweat. His breath started to pick up and his body began trembling – a sensation he had never felt before in his entire life – and he knew that he was close. Unfortunately, Mark was unable to get the prostate orgasm that he was hoping for. He’s not sure if it was the angle, if his fingers weren’t deep enough or if he was just too exhausted from the day’s activities but at that point, he just wanted to get it over with. He lazily tugged at himself until he spilled onto his sheets and fell asleep almost immediately.

Although they haven’t gone all the way, the couple was not opposed to pleasing each another in other ways. Whether it be handjobs, blowjobs, or numerous sessions of them finding a rhythm in each other’s grasp; with only thin layers of fabric keeping their moist skin apart.

All avenues have led to great orgasms, so far.

But he wants more.

So much more.

Mark was suddenly pulled out of his dirty thoughts at the sound of a knock on his door.

“Who is it?” he asked, peeling the bedspread back.

“Mom. Can I come in?”

Mark got up to open his bedroom door, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the light in the hallway. “Hey, mom.”

“Good morning, sweetie. Good sleep?” Mrs. Tuan asked, gently caressing her son’s face.

“Yes.” Mark said, grinning sweetly. He’s always had a sweet spot for her. “You need something?”

“Well first…” she paused, peeking into his room in disgust. “We can start with this room. Mark, what is going on? It’s a mess in here!”

“Moooooom” Mark whined. He really didn’t want to be nagged at first thing in the morning.

His mother mocked him and then giggled. “Okay, okay. I just came up to give you & your brother a kiss goodbye.” she says, kissing him on the forehead.

“Wait, what? Where are you guys going?”

“Your father and I have some business meetings to tend to, in SoCal. We should be back Monday afternoon.”

“So… it’s just me & Joey?”

“Yes. Grace will stop by to check up on you two but we think you guys are responsible enough to handle it. It’s just the weekend.”  Mark’s mother narrowed her eyes at him as if to ask if they’re making a mistake. “Unless we’re wrong…?”

Mark just smiled shyly in response.

“I got it, mom. I’ll take care of him. I promise.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” she said, running her fingers through his hair. “Come say goodbye to your father, downstairs. We’re about to leave.”

Mark followed his mother to give his dad a hug goodbye and then an idea popped into his head.

“Quick question mom… and dad.”

“Ah, here it is, Dorine. I told ya.” Mr. Tuan said, turning to Mark with a knowing smirk on his face. He leaned on the handle of his suitcase for dramatic, exasperated effect. “What is it, son?”

“Ah come on guys, it’s nothing bad!”

“Uh huh, we’ll be the judges of that. Spit it out.” Mrs. Tuan said jokingly.

“Can I have the guys over?” Mark finally asked. He spit out the rest of his words in hopes that more details would keep a decline away. “It’s not a party, I swear. Just us 7, that’s it. Pizza, movies, popcorn, games… that kinda thing. Real lowkey.”

Mark stretched out his mouth and tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. He was a little worried that his parents would say no but an even bigger part of him was hopeful they’d allow it – they were usually really laid back.

Mr. Tuan looked over at his wife and then rolled his eyes, making Mrs. Tuan giggle. Mark and Joey were well-behaved kids, who kept their grades up. They rarely ever got into trouble and Mr. Tuan was the type of parent that believed kids should get freedom if they earned it.

So, he hesitantly agreed.

Mark howled loudly and jumped around the kitchen, which made his mother smile.

“There are some conditions!” Mr. Tuan replied quickly, silencing Mark’s celebration.

Mark nodded, making sure his father knew he was listening.

“Stay out of our room. No loud music past 10pm. The H.O.A. will have a fit if you guys are being disruptive at night and you know I hate the neighbors in our business. And the house needs to look better than it does now. Got it?”

“That includes your bedrooms.” Mrs. Tuan quickly said, attaching that as a condition, as well.

“No master bedroom. Keep noise down. Clean house & room. Got it!” Mark says, giving his parents one more hug. “We won’t let you down, I promise. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Oh, and Mark?” Mrs. Tuan said mid-hug, backing away a bit. “Your little friend…” she paused, looking over her glasses. She wasn’t trying to embarrass her son but without many words, she was pretty much telling him not to get carried away in her home alone, with Jackson.

The same rules still applied, even in their absence.

Mark’s cheeks instantly being to heat up and his eyes fell to the floor. “Oh my god. Mom!” he said, through his teeth. He already knew what she was hinting at and he wanted to die.

It was his parent’s turn to laugh at his expense, as they turned to leave.

Mark couldn’t push them out the door fast enough.

 

 

//

 

 

“Yes, I’m serious, Jinyoung. My parents are gone.”

“Can we stay over?!” Jinyoung asked, excitedly.

Mark made his way down the hall, to the restroom. He watched clouds of steam roll out once Joey stepped into the hallway, toweling his wet hair.

“Yeah, my parents said it was okay.” Mark said before yelping in surprise.

“What the hell was that?” Jinyoung asked.

“Joey’s punk ass!” Mark yelled in the direction of his younger brother. “He just popped me with a towel. About to brush my teeth.”

Mark shook his head when he heard a cackle and a door shut right after.

“Ah. Hetero-bro shit. Gotcha.”

“You got plans today?” Mark inquired, ignoring his comment. He began brushing his teeth obnoxiously, knowing it made Jinyoung’s skin crawl.

“Mark, seriously?”

“What? I told you I had to wash up!” he said, mouth full of foaming toothpaste.

“Ugh, anyway. It’s Saturday, let’s go to the mall.”

“Again? Is that why you were blowing my phone up?”

“Yeah. But this time, not just for hanging out. I think we should get our prom stuff. Y’know, before the good shit gets bought up. It’s only about a month away.”

Mark chose that moment to gag noisily into the phone, spitting the toothpaste into the sink.

“Oh my god.” Jinyoung complained. “You’re so gross!”

Mark laughed again, heading back to his bedroom. “OK, I’m down. Is it just gonna be us two?”

“No, of course not.” Jinyoung scoffed through the phone. “We have to coordinate with our boyfriends or else they will embarrass us. And by us, I mean me.”

“Ugh, ’nyoungie, please. Let’s not make this a thing, okay?” Mark begged. “Let’s just find some suits and get it over with.”

“Oh, shut up. It’ll be fun!” Jinyoung tried convincing. “JB & I already told Jackson to go to you so he should be at your house, in a few. We’ll meet you guys there. Cool?”

“Yup. Later!”

Mark hung up the phone as he walked back into his bedroom, opening his closet to find an outfit for the day. He started to feel giddy on the inside about this trip to the mall and it surprised him. Prior to break, this is something that would have never crossed his mind to do, as he really wasn’t involved in any of the social activities at school. Mark was the type to just go to class, go straight home and repeat. He would never admit it out loud but now, his mind had changed about prom and he’s actually really excited to go. He hasn’t dressed formally since Tammy’s graduation dinner and it’s not something he does often, feeling out of place and character. His style is more on the laid-back, street side of the spectrum and has been since he was a pre-teen. With all that being noted, though dress shirts and slacks weren’t exactly his cup of tea, Mark was still very aware that he cleaned up rather nicely.

Jackson dressed up was something he can’t wait to see. He can only imagine how that type of attire would manifest through Jackson’s demeanor and to say that Mark was interested, would be an understatement.

The doorbell rang and Mark realized he had been staring into his closet for far too long.

“Joeeeeyyyy!” Mark yelled out, finally sliding on a pair of jeans.

“What?” Joey asked, peeking into Mark’s bedroom.

“That’s Jack, can you let him in?”

Without answering, Joey disappeared and Mark squatted to the floor to pick out a pair of shoes. A few seconds passed and Jackson walked inside, plopping onto Mark’s bed.

“’Sup, babe.”

Marked hummed to acknowledge his presence. He’s still pressed on finding the right shoes to wear and it was obvious that he was a bit distracted.

“You’ve been in that spot forever, haven’t you?” Jackson asked, inquisitively.

Mark smiled, still with his back toward his boyfriend. Jackson has always been able to read him, even when nobody else could. It made him feel fuzzy inside. Once he decided on a pair of white and black checkered vans, he stood up to find a black t-shirt. Jackson leaned back a bit, planting his hands behind him into the mattress and zeroed in on how hot Mark looked in that moment. His jeans had dropped low around his narrow hips, them not yet being zipped up, and Jackson couldn’t help but to pull his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Did you bring an overnight bag?” Mark asked, sliding his feet into his shoes. When he didn’t get an answer, he looked up and noticed Jackson wasn’t paying attention to a word he was saying. Mark followed Jackson’s line of sight and then a familiar swarm of heat spread throughout his neck and cheeks.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Mark said, quickly picking a t-shirt and putting it on. He buttoned and zipped his jeans, smiling shyly to himself. He doesn’t know what the hell it is about Jackson’s gaze but it makes him feel so small, sometimes. The feeling didn’t make him feel inadequate but rather, made him feel like he could see what Jackson saw; as if his eyes were a mirror.

It could be overwhelming.

“Like what? Hm?” Jackson asked smirking, sitting up off the bed to reach for the hem of Mark’s shirt. Jackson pulled Mark toward him until the older was sitting on his lap and then wrapped his arms around his waist. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“I am not. Shut the fuck up.”

Jackson smiled. He loved when Mark was feisty like this. “Yes, you are. You’re cute to me. And to answer your question, yes, I did.” He nodded to the duffel bag at the foot of Mark’s bed then wrapped his arms even tighter.

Jackson started making smooching noises on his neck and Mark’s raised his shoulders to block him out, then pushed him away, smiling. “That tickles. Babe, c’mon, we gotta go. They’re waiting on us.”

“So? Let them wait.”

“Fine, we can just stay here, then. You were the one who wanted to go to prom so bad but if you don’t wanna go anymore, that’s—"

“Alright, alright!” Jackson said.

He pushed Mark off of his lap, causing him to tumble to the floor. When he noticed Mark’s shoulders making small bouncing movements, he assumed Mark was crying; that maybe he pushed too aggressively. Just when he was going to reach out and check if he was okay Mark turned to him laughing with tears streaming down his face. Mark just got a visual representation of how bad Jackson wanted to go to prom and to him, it was hilarious.

Jackson rolled his eyes and stood up straight. “I hate you. I’m leaving.”

Mark followed him out of his bedroom door laughing even harder.

 

 

//

 

 

“Guess whoooo?” Jackson asked, covering JB’s eyes with his hands.

“Took you guys long enough.” JB replied. “We’re practically done.”

Jinyoung giggled at that comment, scanning necktie designs. “That’s real cute, babe.” JB’s face dropped instantly, just now grasping the fact that Jinyoung is seriously going to take forever.

“Aye, stop your nagging, bro.” Jackson said. “We’re here now. ‘Youngie, you’re the so-called expert. What are we supposed to be looking for?”

“Well first, have you guys picked colors? Are you even wearing the same one?” Jinyoung asked.

Mark and Jackson looked at each other, back at him and then shrugged simultaneously.

Jinyoung let out a deep breath in exhaustion. He should have brought BamBam along.

“What are you favorite colors? Let’s start there.” he continued.

“I like red.” Mark said. “Jackson’s is black.”

“Okay. Well how about you guys just coordinate.”

Jinyoung was met with an agonizing silence. He looked up at the ceiling in aggravation, dropping his arms by his side. He didn’t think the guys would be this ignorant when it came to formal wear. He lowkey came here just to lead JB in the right direction but he’s clearly going to be doing all the work for all three of them. He spoke a tad bit slower, as if to be conversing with toddlers.

“You both obviously need to get black tuxes, I’m not allowing you around me wearing anything else. Mark you wear a red cummerbund and black pocket square. Jackson, you wear a black cummerbund with a red pocket square… like an accessory swap!”

There was another pause when Mark and Jackson spoke up at the same time.

“…what’s a cummerbund?”

Three hours had passed when the boys finished buying their tuxes, dress shirts, dress shoes and accessories. Jinyoung and JB agreed on coordinating, with blue and black as their color scheme. JB chose a blue necktie and pocket square as accessories and the former chose to wear the same pocket square but with a blue bowtie. Mark decided to ditch the cummerbund idea all together and, instead, chose a silky red suit vest and matching bowtie. Jackson, on the other hand, stuck to his personal style the most, opting to wear all-black; dress shirt included. His tux would be accompanied with a smooth black cummerbund and a black pocket square sprinkled with red polka dots, a detail that was intentionally picked out unbeknownst to Mark. All four boys decided to try the outfits on in secret so that when they saw each other on prom night, their looks would be a pleasant surprise.

They almost got into trouble in one store because Jackson was being extra, trying to sneak into Mark’s dressing room from the opening underneath. The two were cracking up rather loudly while Mark tried to kick him back into his own stall, when they heard loud knocks on their dressing room doors. Quick apologies – once at the door, again to the other customers and a third time to the cashiers – were the only thing that kept them from being escorted by security.

 

 

 //

 

 

The food court is extremely loud and busy, as expected, being that most kids are out on break. Mark was nibbling on the remnants of his Chick-Fil-A waffle fries, watching children running back and forth, inconveniencing several locals and tourists in the process. He checked the time on his phone and saw that he had an unread text message. After rubbing his fingertips on one of the napkins, he slid his thumb across the screen to open them.

 

**Bammie (4:27 PM)**

_dude, I heard your parents are out of town! house party?_

 

**Mark (5:02 PM)**

_can’t. promised my parents I wouldn’t._

 

**Bammie (5:05 PM)**

_aw, really? that sucks. woulda been so dope, man._

 

**Mark (5:06 PM)**

_yeah i know. but u can stay over, if you want. tell yj & yugy, too. jb, jack and jinyoung will be there._

 

**Bammie (5:10 PM)**

_wooooow so you guys already had this planned and didn’t say anything? ya’ll are true bffs! :(_

 

Mark noticed the sad emoji placed at the end and smiled to himself. BamBam was so cute.

**Mark (5:10 PM)**

_come on, bam, don’t be like that. just come, it’ll be fun! there will be food :)_

 

**Bammie (5:11 PM)**

_we’ll be there. bye!_

 

 

_//_

 

 

Mark put his phone in his pocket and got up to throw his food away, once he saw the others doin the same. They grabbed their things and started walking back to the entrance of the mall.

“Well, this was fun! How about you guys?” Jinyoung asked, chipperly.

The boys glared at him with disdain, making sure the ‘No, not really’ was crystal clear. Jinyoung rolled his eyes, nudging JB with his elbow and then made his infamous pout-mouth.

JB laughed at how cute his boyfriend was. He kissed him on the cheek then draped his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder.

“We’re just playing, baby. I had fun. Can’t wait to see you in the tux.” JB moved closer, whispering into his ear. “You gonna miss me, right?”

Jinyoung blushed, looking down at the tiled floor. He instinctively grabbed the hand that was dangling in front of him and linked their fingers together. “Yes, you punk.” he said, in return.

Mark silently watched their exchanged and smiled to himself, feeling nothing but genuine happiness for his best friend. Jinyoung rarely ever showed vulnerability and what had just happened was something that doesn’t happen often – at least not in front of them.

In Mark’s opinion, the two behaved more like a married couple than a young, teenage couple. So aside from the tiny sexual acts the two like to do in public, like eye-fucking each other across the table and disappearing into a bathroom somewhere, their affection was more subtle. Most young couples hold hands, but they choose to connect closely at the elbows instead. Almost every teenager he knows uses Snapchat or Instagram to document memories but Jinyoung and JB take polaroids together. Sometimes, Jaebum carries Jinyoug’s bags, his satchels included, and it makes them look so domestic. The two share a dynamic that feels like it came from the same old soul and because of that, they’re often coined as the parents of the group.

They were all just about to walk through the automatic sliding doors when Mark heard Jackson take in a sharp breath and felt their hands disconnect, right after.

“You okay?” Mark asked, looking at him in concern. Jackson was scanning the crowd behind them, not bothering to answer the question. Mark wasn’t sure but it looked like he was desperately looking for someone - almost as if he was panicking. Jinyoung and JB noticed the two were no longer next to them, so they stopped as well and looked back. Eventually Jinyoung made it back to where they had frozen, JB following close behind.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, looking between then in confusion.

Jackson blinked a few times then looked back at Mark. Their was wave of anxiety radiating off of him and Mark moved even closer, his concern shifting into worry. “Gaga, what’s the matter?”

Jackson shook his head and put on a smile. Mark knew that smile – it was the smile he always wore when didn’t want others to worry about him or move on from a situation. He noticed Jackson looked like he was struggling with what to do with his hands, but eventually Jackson decided to gently grab Mark by the wrist, almost pulling him along to the parking lot.

Jinyoung and JB shared a look with each other but kept quiet as they followed the two out of the mall.

 

 

//

 

 

Mark walked into his house and headed straight for the stairs, to his bedroom. Jackson slowly closed the front door, locked it, then sighed. He knows Mark is upset with him and that he owes him an explanation for what occurred at the mall so he slowly made his way up the stairs. He stopped at the door and saw Mark watching something on his phone, with both earphones inserted.

When he finally stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, he received a glare in return that he’s only seen maybe, once or twice. Mark was a very bright person naturally so it was very rare to see him pissed off. However, when the fault is Jackson’s, the only thing he would feel is regret and a hint of fear. Mark turned his eyes back to his phone screen and Jackson’s heart dropped. The only thing worse than Mark being mad at him, was being ignored by him. He decided now was the time to speak up, so he hesitantly made his way over to the bed and sat down. A few seconds had passed before Mark pulled his legs in and make a bit more room. Jackson let out a breath he had no idea he was holding.

That was a good sign… sort of.

“Are you gonna tell me what that was or just stare at the carpet?” Mark finally asked. He had paused the video a long time ago, hoping Jackson would start talking or try to get his attention but he just got irritated when he did neither. He took his earphones out and placed the phone on the bed.

“I—” Jackson began to say. He started chewing on his lip and for Mark, that made his anxiety kick up. His mind instantly started creating the worst possible scenarios and the most devastating would be him mentioning another guy. Or another girl. It really didn’t matter at this point but he asked before his brain could catch up to his lips.

“Is it someone else?” Mark asked.

Jackson’s head shot up and his eyebrows dipped in confusion, followed by anger.

“God, Mark. No! Are you serious?” he asked in maddening disbelief. “I can’t believe you just… asked me that.” Jackson looked hurt now and Mark’s heart ached. He regretted those words the moment they left his mouth.

“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean – I... I got scared. I’m so sorry.” Mark said with pleading eyes, squeezing part of his bedspread.

Jackson sighed in defeat and now, it was Mark’s turn to work at his bottom lip.

“Don’t ever ask me that again.” Jackson said sternly, eyes piercing into Mark’s. He was pissed that Mark would even ask him such a dumb question but he also understands Mark has anxiety. Him acting suspiciously like this, isn’t helping it. He was bound to think of something so outlandish.

Mark nodded quickly to make it physically clear that he wouldn’t make that mistake again.

They sat in deafening silence for a while and then Mark watched Jackson’s body deflate a bit.

“I need to tell them…” he finally said, with an underlying tone of sadness.

 “Who? Tell who, what?” Mark asked.

“My parents. About me...”

Mark didn’t need another second to realize what he was referring to, so he sat all the way up, with wide eyes.

“Are you sure? What if—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Jackson said, cutting him off. He already knew what Mark was going to ask him. “I hate hiding you from my family. Hell, I hate hiding ME. It feels like I’m living a lie.”

A beat passes and then he kicked his sneakers off to crawl onto the bed and lay down next to Mark. “You know my parents asked me why I haven’t brought a girl to the house, the other day? I said I’ve just been focused on fencing and my studies but honestly, I swear, I just wanted to tell them that I have a boyfriend – that I don’t only like girls. And I couldn’t. That… that shit hurts.”

Mark nodded, understanding fully what it feels like to be in the closet. His past traumas slowly started to creep up his skin and he began rubbing his arms to keep the feeling from swallowing him whole. He never wanted to feel trapped like that again and he damn sure didn’t want that for Jackson, either.

“What does that have to do with happened at the mall, though? You seemed so out of it...” Mark said.

Jackson hesitantly shook his head, looking forward at nothing in particular. “I don’t know what the hell that was. I was trippin’.”

“Well regardless, you shouldn’t worry about me. Honestly, you should just be thinking about you, in a situation like this.”

Jackson looked at Mark with a confused look on his face. He was surprised to hear Mark basically agree to staying a secret if that’s what it came to. He assumed Mark would support him coming out. He supposes the slight offense showed up on his face because Mark spoke up again, as if to know exactly what he was thinking.

“Don’t.” Mark warned. “You know I’d love more than anything for you to come out and be free. I just—I just want you to understand that your parents may not support you... support us, the way that mine do. It’s not like you’re going off to college and will have a bit of freedom, like I will. You’re living in their house. You have to do what they say. Follow their rules & shit. What if they kick you out or something? What if… what if they tell you to stop dating me?”

Jackson pondered the question silently before pulling Mark to lay on top of him, putting a stop to any more that may have come. Mark was surprised initially but then relaxed, laying his head on Jackson’s chest.

As everybody knows, Jackson has a way with words. He’s mastered the art of speaking his mind but being aware of how his words can affect those around him, therefore choosing those words carefully. On the other hand, there are moments when he is overwhelmed with internal feelings and the right words just won’t show up.

This is one of those moments.

The sound of Jackson’s heartbeat became a thumping lullaby, almost putting Mark to sleep. Jackson started to gently massage his scalp with one hand and rub his back with the other.

Time seemed to slow down after that.

Jackson had already considered the possibility of getting disowned by his family. The issue has been tossing around his mind since he officially started to date Mark. Jackson’s father travels a lot due to his work with the Junior Olympics so for weeks at a time, it’s just him and his mother. His father could be loving but he could be very abrasive as well, often choosing to be his coach when all he really wanted was a dad. Disappointing his dad due to his sexuality would hurt but he could live with it. His mother being disappointed, on the other hand, would break his heart. Knowing all of this though, Jackson had come to the conclusion that he wouldn’t be able to let his love go.

Mark is special.

With his peers, Jackson must be the clown. He feels obligated to put on a show and make everybody laugh until their stomachs burst, even if he doesn’t want to.

In class, he must be that one energetic student. That way, his teachers could use him for their busy work, just to make their jobs a little bit easier. Clean the board. Staple these papers. Pass out those tests.

With his father and his fencing staff, he must be the champion. Every step forward and every step back should be calculated to the second. Every mistake is an instant abrasion to his self-esteem.

With his mom, he always aims to be the perfect son. And although it’s the easiest of all of his stresses, he owes his mom everything, it can still be exhausting.

With Mark, Jackson is human.

He can exist without stipulations or terms and conditions.

He gets to just be Jackson.

 

//

 

 

“Hey…” he whispered, after a few long, but comforting, minutes went by. He lifted Mark’s head up off of his chest and looked deeply into his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Mark’s softened at those reassuring words.

 

He didn’t know what to say as a response so he placed his lips on Jackson’s, hoping the kiss conveyed all the beautiful feelings swarming inside of his chest.

 

**_Because neither was he._ **

 

 

//

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are grammatical errors. It's 3:00 in the morning and I'm tired as hell.
> 
> Thanks for all the support! 
> 
> <3


	4. 04

There was a long and necessary discussion held in the bed, that emotionally drained them both. Mark practically forced Jackson to come up with a backup plan (or three), in the event that he actually did get removed from his parents’ home. Jackson kept pushing for the older not to worry about him, to the point where Mark snapped and pointed out that it wasn’t just about worrying. Mark would absolutely hate if anything happened to Jackson. He’s seen a hundreds of stories of teenagers coming out to the family they _thought_ truly loved them, only to get smacked with the devastating understanding that said love wasn’t unconditional, at all. It’s a harsh reality, being a queer kid with no love or support of any kind. It was a potential circumstance that, clearly, Jackson didn’t want to accept could happen. Truthfully, he was terrified and rightfully so. However, he understood what Mark was trying to stress and eventually conceded to ignoring the facts.

Mark dropped the suggestion of Jackson staying in his house and he scoffed to himself. The idea sounded harmless in the general sense but he knew two hormonal guys living under one roof with parents, wouldn’t be fun. Jackson knows exactly who he is and he could only be on his best behavior but for so long, with his boyfriend’s room just a short distance away. The late night sneak-ins would be inevitable and he’s come to really adore Mark’s parents. The last thing he wants to do is lose their respect and a situation like that would add yet another layer of stress on the matter. Speaking long-term, it just wasn’t a feasible option.

His entire core shifted right after that, when Mark made another suggestion. He admitted that he’d be willing to find a really good job, even if he had to work for his parents, and they could just move in together. It was an absolute last resort for Mark but Jackson could do nothing but stare down at him in shock for what had to be at least a full minute. It’s not that he hasn’t thought about that; he’s daydreamt about living a happy, domesticated life with him for a long time, now. But the thought of Mark giving up everything – his college education, social life, personal growth – for him to not end up on the streets somewhere made his heart jump. Plus, he’s no fool. Moving in together sounds a lot easier than it actually would be and he’s sure the two aren’t ready for that, yet. Jackson would never allow Mark to do such a thing anyway but seeing the depths he’d go for him in sacrifice, made him sink even deeper in love.

There was one idea that pinned itself to Jackson’s mind but he didn’t vocalize it because he knew nothing good would come from it; just heartache. He has plenty of other family members but they don’t live in California. Hell, they don’t even live in America. Most of his family lives in China, as his parents are first-generation Chinese-Americans. Both sets of his grandparents moved to America and purposely had his parents here so that they could obtain natural born citizenship. Although his grandparents have passed away some time ago, and were traditional in almost every way imaginable, Jackson knew in his heart that his grandparents would have accepted him, had they still been alive. He’s visited his aunt and uncle in Hong Kong dozens of times since he was a toddler, and their son – his cousin – is gay. Jackson was pretty close to them all, so he knew living with them wouldn’t be an issue. They were a lot more liberal than the rest of the family; than the society they dwelled in. For a split second, Jackson wished his parents were, too.

Jackson watched Mark fall asleep and took that opportunity to silently pray to himself. He just wanted to be happy and he wanted that happiness with his friends, family and Mark at his side; that was it. He placed a gentle kiss on top of his head then fell asleep right after.

  
  
  


Mark was hearing faint noises, body discreetly stirring in his sleep. His brain didn’t make the connection that the noises were real until he heard the click of a camera shutter near his left ear. His eyes snapped open and then he jerked away in surprise, seeing blurry outlines of people standing in front of him. He relaxed, however, once it was obvious that it wasn’t three criminals in his bedroom, but three idiots, instead. The sudden movements forced Jackson out of his sleep as well and he grumbled in frustration. 

“What the hell are y’all doing?” Jackson asked, squinting up at Yugyeom, BamBam and Youngjae.

“And how did you guys get in my house?” Mark rolled off of Jackson and onto his back, stretching his body outward, rolling his ankles and wrists.

“Joey let us in. You said we could come over, remember?” BamBam referred back to their text conversation hours ago.

Mark reached over Jackson to pick his phone up off the nightstand and saw that it was a little past eight thirty. He didn’t even recall them falling asleep but the nap definitely helped his body and mind relax. He put the phone back down and rubbed at his eyes. “Are ‘Youngie & JB here, too?” BamBam shook his head. “Nah, not yet. They said they’ll be here around 10.”

“We brought games, movies and snacks, guys. Why are you still sleeping? C’mon, wake uuuuup!” Yugyeom yelled obnoxiously. He repeatedly shoved at their bodies and Mark took that chance to swing his fist at his arm. He missed by mere centimeters and Yugyeom backed away, shrieking. Mark was, for the most part, a very pleasant person but he has a prominent mean streak and a painful punch, too. The trio were laughing boisterously and Jackson winced, putting his fingers into his ears. “Yoo!” he yelled out. “We’ll be down later, get out!”

They turned to leave but not without voicing their disappointments, first. Youngjae locked the door behind them and the couple silently listened for their noisy footsteps to fade out. Once Jackson could no longer hear them, he plopped back down into the bed, placing Mark’s pillow over his face. There was a muffled scream that came right after.

“Just kill me, already. Please.” he pleaded from behind the fabric. “No, you idiot.” Mark laughed, yanking the pillow off of his face and lying back down. Jackson’s eyes were closed and Mark turned his head to silently watch him rest. He could do this for hours but he randomly had the urge to talk to him about his latest self-discovery. Despite the fact that he was hesitant to bring the topic up, he knew there would probably never be a better time than now, with his parents being gone. Mark called out his name and Jackson hummed, a sign that he was actively listening.

“You know when we went to the beach the other day?” Mark asked.

“Yeah?”

“I, um — I tried something out for the first time... that night.”

Jackson turned his eyes to Mark, eyebrow raising in curiosity. “What was it?”

Mark got nervous all of a sudden, words running out in a jumbled mess. “It’s nothing big. Well, it kind of is but in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t. I mean for other people, I guess it isn’t. But for me, it’s a big deal. And it’s really embarrassing to admit it out loud. I feel like you —”

“Baby, just tell me. It’s fine.” Jackson insisted.

Mark cleared his throat in embarrassment. He didn’t realize he was rambling and felt ridiculous for being so dramatic. He isn’t a prude so to feel his anxiety jumping around at the thought of talking about sex — with his freakin’ boyfriend at that — is not only confusing him but annoying him, as well. “I fingered myself.” he blurted out. Jackson’s eyes widened when the statement finally registered and then a huge smile spread across his face. “You did _what_?”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Jackson, don’t make me say it again.”

“No. Hell no, say it again. Please.” Jackson pleaded, sitting up in the bed. His eyes were scanning all over Mark’s body, as if that were the only way he could picture it in is head. “That’s so hot… you’re so hot. Damn, I wish I was there…. fuck!” At this point, Mark was laughing because Jackson was being silly. His features had morphed into a pained expression; one resembling that of somebody missing out on a golden opportunity and it kind of made Mark feel good; feel wanted. Not that Jackson ever made him feel the opposite but sometimes a reminder just does the trick.

“How’d it feel? You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” Jackson continued.

Mark shook his head and bit his lip, recollection of the night coming back to him. “It felt great, actually.” Jackson nodded encouragingly, his smile widening because he wanted to hear more.

“But I couldn’t...” Mark paused. “I wasn’t able to come. I don’t know what I was doing wrong but I was too tired to figure it out so I just jerked off and went to sleep.” He attempted to mentally go back in his mind and piece together any mistakes he may have made but came up empty.

“Wanna try again?” Jackson abruptly asked with a mischievous grin.

Mark blinked a few times then looked back at him in shock. “What?”

“You heard me.” Jackson said, moving closer.

“Jackson, no.” Mark giggled, scooting away. “The guys are here.”

“So? What’s your point?” Jackson lifted his head to glance at the bedroom door. “See, look, even your door is locked. It’s a sign.” 

Mark snickered at his eagerness and then turned back to the ceiling. Internally, he was actually debating whether he should do it or not. It would be nice to get one off but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little nervous and on top of that, it’s awkward knowing his friends are in the house. The last thing he needed is for them to be heard; the teasing would go on for eternity. He felt the bed dip and assumed Jackson was just adjusting himself but Mark’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw that he was climbing on top of him, instead.

Mark gasped and then put his hands up smiling, trying to push him away. “Jackson... Jackson!” he whispered harshly, peeking around him at the door, as if his friends could hear them all the way up here and barge in at any moment. He could push him off if he really wanted that but deep down, he doesn’t. His arms were held down into the bed and Jackson stole a quick peck on the lips. Mark froze up, silently suffering in his personal dilemma. Jackson noticed and his joking demeanor faltered a bit, thinking maybe he was being too aggressive. He knows that Mark has his own battles with this but he’s also picked up on his body language changing over the past few days. The only problem is, Mark hasn’t voiced what those changes could mean for him — for them. Jackson is one to respect boundaries, especially with people he loves, so he never once pushed at the issue; at least not intentionally. He always just lets Mark guide him to how far he wanted to go and then would please him the best way he knew how, within those confines. It was obvious to him, though, that Mark wants a lot more.

Jackson sat up on his knees and caressed Mark’s thighs. “You scared? I can hear you thinking from here...” he noted, trying to talk him through whatever was going through his head.

“No, not scared. Just—” Mark trailed off, getting upset with himself. He knows he wants to do it, he can feel it. But his mind, like always, is in the way. He has got to get over this shit if he wants to have sex on prom night (or at any time, for that matter). Otherwise, that entire experience will suck; not just for him but for Jackson, as well. And frankly, he would be pissed. “If you don’t wanna do it, babe, we don’t have to. You know that.” Jackson reiterated. As much as he wanted to — making Mark feel good sits at the top of his _Favorite Things To Do_ list — making sure he was comfortable, is always the number one priority.

Mark tossed those words around in his mind, contemplating the offer one last time. If he were to be truthful, he’s been yearning to have every part of Jackson — as much as Jackson would give him — for quite a while. He decided now was the time to stop denying his own desires and be a little selfish. Mark glanced at Jackson’s hands on each of his thighs and then placed his own, on top. Jackson gently squeezed in return, as if to ask if the older was okay.

That loving reassurance was all Mark needed to just let himself go.

Fuck it.

Mark quickly sat up to wrap his hand around the back of Jackson’s neck and pressed their lips together, his legs instinctively falling apart as he laid back into the covers. Jackson was initially surprised but once the green light was made crystal clear, he eagerly slotted himself in between Mark’s thighs and kissed back. There was always something special present when they made out but Mark had to admit, the surge he was currently feeling, was brand new. He’s certain it’s due to the fact that both of them have just made it very obvious that they’re ready to move forward sexually; to jump - or fuck, rather - to the next step. There are so many unknowns ahead but for the first time, he isn’t nervous. All he feels running through his veins right now is adrenaline and it just makes him want to kiss even harder. Mark opened his mouth and felt Jackson’s tongue possessively swipe against his own with zero hesitation, a low groan rumbling out right after.

_Well, then… someone’s hungry._

Jackson experimentally rolled his hips, getting the moan he was hoping for in return, then a hand squeezing at his nape. Jackson chuckled into his mouth, the older whispering for him shut the fuck up as a response to the display of arrogance. Mark knows that Jackson has a huge praise kink (in general, not just during sex), so he tries his hardest not to gas him up. However, Jackson notices every time and takes that as a challenge. He’d see no other option but to try to evoke even more pleasure, so that Mark could snap; a nice stroke to his ego. The more noises, dirty talk and muscle spasms he could get, the better he felt and the better he performed. It’s a game they love playing and honestly, it’s a win-win for the both of them.

Jackson kissed his lips one more time before he got up off the bed to locate the lube in the nightstand. Mark sat up to undress himself completely, then laid back down. He wasn’t fully hard but he was well on his way. Wrapping a hand around himself, dragging it across his length, he looked up to see Jackson taking his shirt off, as well. It wasn't necessary for him to do so in this particular situation, but Mark appreciated it. He loves skin-to-skin contact and would prefer the other not be fully clothed. Jackson crawled back onto the bed, sitting up on his knees to pour some lube into his palm. His hand took the place of Mark’s and he pumped slowly from base to tip, partly to warm up the lube but mainly to watch Mark’s expressions — his eyes had just fluttered shut, a shaky breath coming out, next.

  


Jackson kept a steady pace for a few minutes, when he rubbed his thumb against the tip, watching a small stream of precome leak out of the tip. Seeing that made his own dick twitch and he added a bit more pressure. He let go once Mark was fully erect, to reach over and grab the lube again. Jackson squirted some over his fingers and then rubbed them together, shutting the cap. The _click_ wasn’t loud at all but for Mark, it blared between his ears, becoming a deafening cue that yes… this is definitely about to happen.

Mark felt a shiver run down his spine as another wave of excitement shot through him, then his vision traveled up Jackson’s body, finally landing into his eyes. Jackson winked back, moving closer. “Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?” he said. Mark nodded then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was expecting his anxiety to return, especially at this point, but it hadn’t and he was relieved.

It was strangely quiet and still for far too long so he re-opened his eyes, blushing when he realized why. Mark shut his legs in embarrassment, forcing Jackson out of his trance. “Jack...” he murmured shyly, looking off to the side while heat rushed to his cheeks. “You’re staring.”  

“My bad.” Jackson apologized with a crooked smile, spreading his legs back open. He reached down and rubbed circles against Mark’s rim with the pad of his finger, getting excited when he felt it contract. “Just... looks really good.” he explained, glancing again and licking his lips. He wanted to spread Mark’s cheeks open and devour him whole, right now. Unfortunately, that had to wait; he was on a mission.

“Yeah?” Mark breathily moaned out, looking back up at him with half-lidded eyes. He observed the possessive look on Jackson’s face — his eyes extremely focused and dark; almost pitch black —and licked his lips. It’s the same exact look he had when they made out on his doorstep.

Mark’s cock twitched against his stomach at the thought, because…

_Ohh._

Jackson nodded at the question, biting his lip and slowly inserting the tip of his finger. Mark let out a small hiss and his eyes reflexively closed again. It wasn’t exactly painful but he hasn’t fingered himself since the first time and it’s still a feeling he hasn’t gotten used to. After a minute or two, Jackson was able to slide it back and forth, the lube being a big help and plus, it was just one finger.

Jacson felt Mark opening up so he cautiously pulled out, adding a second finger. When he tried to push them in, Mark seized up right away and squeezed at Jackson’s arm.

Ok. This part, he **definitely** remembers.

“Gotta relax, babe...” Jackson calmly suggested.

Mark’s breath sped up while he tried to force his body to relax but it was proving to be difficult. Jackson noticed him struggling so he leaned over him and left kisses on his lips, hoping it would be a good enough distraction. Mark started to kiss him back and Jackson carefully wiggled his fingers as much as he could, attempting to scissor him open.

Some time had passed when it was obvious Mark was no longer uncomfortable, so Jackson sat back up again. He moved his fingers in and out, making twisting motions when squelching noises began calling out to him. “Damn.” he whispered. His reaction went straight to Mark’s groin, another stream of precome spurting out of him. At this point, the pain had subsided and he was beginning to unravel.

Jackson was moving at a significant pace when he directed the tips of his fingers upwards and rubbed. Mark’s head fell back into his pillow and he squeezed at Jackson’s arms again — this time in pure ecstasy. “Fuck.” he moaned out, his toes curling as his hips moved back into the mattress.

“There it is.” Jackson smirked. He sped his fingers up, intentionally sliding past his prostate every time he pushed back in. A bright red hue covered Mark’s skin from his ears, down to his neck and chest, goosebumps littering his skin. Jackson would love to be closer and listen to his moans but he had to admit, watching him from up here was hot, too.

Jackson felt a sudden urge to add a third finger. He wasn’t sure if Mark could handle it but he wanted to experiment. Truth be told, he knew that if Mark could take all three, he could take his dick, too. The picture alone had Jackson wanting to rip Mark apart, in the best way, so he decided to go for it. He slowly added the extra digit, making sure to drive past his spot, just like before. Mark’s mouth fell open and the guttural moan he loudly let out into the room, seemed to be all the confirmation he needed.

  
  


Jackson was three knuckles deep when he sped up again, Mark’s entire body starting to tremble. Jackson knew he was close so, he leaned over him again, planting his hand into the mattress.

“Jack. J-Jacks—” Mark stuttered, trying to get his warning out. “I—”

“I know baby, come on.” Jackson pecked him on the lips, aware of what he was trying to say.

Mark reached up and squeezed Jackson’s shoulders, just for the simple fact that he needed something — _anything_ — to keep him grounded in this reality. He was literally in the middle of an out-of-body experience and he didn’t know how much more he could take. Mark pulled him closer by the nape and kissed him sloppily, not even caring at this point to do it correctly. Jackson kissed him back with a low growl, fingers diving deep as he was desperate to see him to the end.

Mark felt a familiar sensation gathering and his entire body tensed up. Jackson chose that moment to knead his fingers into his prostate and Mark immediately pulled back, wailing uncontrollably against Jackson’s lips as he spilled all over his stomach.

Jackson watched in awe as his love practically crumbled, underneath him. He’s seen Mark come plenty of times, but this… this was different.

_Mission accomplished._

  
  
  


Mark felt the fingers slowly leave his body and twitched, his nerves still tingling from overstimulation. Jackson groggily laid down in between his legs, leaving slow, wet kisses on his neck. Mark hummed in contentment, while rubbing Jackson’s back.

He was just about to surrender to the weight in his eyelids when he felt Jackson straining through his jeans. Mark pushed him up to reach down between their bodies and unbutton them. “I know you’re tired. You don’t have to.” Jackson said, blocking his hand.

If Jackson thought he was gonna do what he just did for him and not get anything in return, he was seriously buggin’.

“I know. I want to.” Mark said, leaving kisses on his jaw. “Let me make you feel good, babe.” he whispered, gently biting down on his earlobe. Jackson got chills and groaned into Mark’s ear, his shoulders rolling back. He was getting weak and couldn’t resist anymore; not with Mark playing into his turn-ons like this.

Especially the teeth.

Asshole.

Mark smirked to himself, knowing he had just won, then proceeded to unbutton, unzip and pull down; just enough to let his dick free. Jackson sighed at the relief. He didn’t want to admit it because what they had just shared was ultimately for Mark but the strain actually was starting to hurt. He planned to just jerk off in the bathroom later but a handjob from someone else is always better. Mark tightly wrapped his hand around his length and happily watched Jackson chase an orgasm of his own.

 

//

 

The clock reads almost two o’clock in the morning and Mark’s living room looks like a storm’s passed through it. He doesn’t mind, though. To him, this is exactly what a sleepover is supposed to look like. There are card and board games on the table next to empty, stacked up pizza boxes along with snack packages and soda cans littering the floor. Not to mention, blankets and pillows leaving little room for them to even walk around.

It’s perfect.

The guys are still awake but the energy is much calmer compared to when Mark and Jackson finally made their way downstairs. It was completely dark earlier because they were watching Insidious, but thanks to Jackson and BamBam (they’re scared but won’t admit it), it currently looks like they’re literally living inside of the sun. Almost every light in the house has been turned on. Jackson even ran off to grab lamps from other rooms, promising Mark he’d put them back in the morning.

When they set up a video game to keep themselves occupied, Mark saw that as the perfect opportunity to clean things up before they fell asleep. Nobody likes to wake up to a disaster; at least he doesn’t. He was in his kitchen placing dishes into the dishwasher when Jinyoung cand around the corner with a full garbage bag.

“Where should I put this?” Jinyoung asked.

“You can just leave it by the door. I’ll take it out, later. Thanks.” Mark replied, turning the dishwasher on. When he straightened up, Jinyoung was giving him an inquisitive side eye.

“You look different…” he pointed out.

“Do I?” Mark asked, grinning suggestively.

Jinyoung gasped and in seconds, he was standing directly in front of him. “You. Did. Not.”

Mark laughed and backed away, shaking his head. “How the hell do you do always that?”

“Do what?”

“Know my business before I tell you!” Mark clarified. “And no, we didn’t.”

“It’s a gift. And you guys did _something._  Tell me!” Jinyoung demanded, excitedly.

Mark hushed him, looking around the corner, making sure the boys were still distracted. “Jackson fingered me.” he admitted.

“Well it’s about damn time! Did you like it?”

A slight chill ran down Mark’s neck as he thought back to the moment. He slipped the tip of his tongue between his teeth, with a smirk.

_Hell yeah, he did._

Jinyoung giggled. “I take that as a yes. Did he find your spot?”

Mark scoffed. He was so mad at himself for waiting so damn long. “Best orgasm I’ve ever had in my life.”

Jinyoung folded his arms with a smirk. “Told ya.”

  
  


It was silent. Shadows were bouncing into the dark room, due to the glow radiating off of the television screen. BamBam practically begged everybody to let him keep it on, his fear of ghosts and demons still gnawing at him.

Once everybody had fallen asleep, Jackson shook Mark awake so they could move back to his room. As soon as they slid underneath the covers, Mark moved closer, snuggling his nose into Jackson’s neck and taking in a breath. “What is it with you and sniffing my neck?” Jackson inquired, grinning. Mark smiled to himself, slightly flustered, then explained that he loved the way he smelled. Jackson swore up and down that it was just his cologne but Mark quickly denied that notion. “No, it’s not that. It’s—” Mark sniffed again. “Mmm. It’s your natural scent. Smells really good to me. Can’t explain why so don’t ask.” Jackson was amused and chuckled; his boyfriend sounded like a total creep right now. He would never tell him to stop doing it, though. It’s a quirk that he personally enjoys; any quirk that would have Mark’s lips on his skin would never come with a complaint.

“Babe… can I ask you something?” Jackson hesitantly asked after a few quiet minutes. 

“Mhm.” Mark replied, yawning. He was getting sleepy again.

“I’ve noticed something’s different about you. Well, how you are around me. Not in a bad way. Maybe I’m just seeing shit in my head, I don’t know, I could be wrong but—”

“You’re not.” Mark cut him off, adjusting himself so that they could talk to each other face to face. They can’t see much, the only light coming into the room is from outside, through the window but Mark wants him to know he’s got his attention. Jackson looked back at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate. “You know I’ve been somewhat hesitant when it comes to us having sex. By the way, just to be clear, that’s on me… you’ve been amazing.”

Jackson nodded. Even though Mark never once made him feel like he pushed too far, it felt good to hear him actually say so. “The anxiety’s kept me from getting closer to you but with me graduating soon, I—” Mark yawned again and laid his head back on Jackson’s chest, the rest of his words coming out slurred. “I don’t wanna be that way anymore. I wanna enjoy all of you while I can.” he explained, finally closing his eyes.

There was a huge weight that lifted off of Jackson’s shoulders. He had been wrecking his brain for months, trying to figure out if he was the reason why Mark would freeze up if he touched him in certain places. Mentally, he knew it was his own personal issue but he still couldn’t help but to think some of it was his fault, as well. He was worried that his plans to book a hotel for them on prom night might’ve come off too strong but now, he’s glad that he did it. Even though Mark didn’t exactly say the words, there seemed to be an insinuation that they just might finally _go there_ and Jackson has to be ready so Mark will be comfortable enough to open up to it. It’ll be a big deal for the older, for the both of them really, and Jackson needs it to be perfect.

It has to be.

“Love you.” Mark randomly mumbled into his chest, dozing off to sleep. Jackson felt a warmth rush through his body and the corners of his lips lifted into a tiny smile.

He swears if he were to die right now, he’d die happy.

 

//

 

“I’m home!” Jackson yelled out into the house, taking his sneakers off. There seemed to be no sign of life as he walked around, looking for his mother. He eventually walked to the kitchen to get himself a snack but froze when he saw his parents sitting next to each other at the dining table, in complete silence.

“Hey dad! What are you doing here?” Jackson walked over to give him a hug because he wasn’t supposed to be back for another few days. But his father never acknowledged his presence, still looking straight ahead. “What’s the matt—?”

“Sit down.” Mr. Wang interrupted.

Jackson looked at his mom for any hint as to what that was but she rapidly looked away. His stomach dropped and he slowly sat down into a chair, across from his parents.

Something’s wrong.

Mr. Wang took a deep breath and sat back into his seat, staring Jackson in the face. There was a look of anger present but there was also disappointment settling into his features and it made Jackson flinch. “Can you guys tell me what’s going on? Did I do something?” he asked, confused.

“My assistant saw you at the mall yesterday.” Mr. Wang finally admitted.

Jackson stopped breathing. His eyes immediately dropped to the table and scanned the surface, recounting what happened when he and his friends were leaving. Jackson swore that he saw his dad’s assistant but he couldn’t find him in the busy crowd so he figured he was just seeing things. He was holding Mark’s hand at the time, so Jackson’s certain the man realized that he has a boyfriend… and now his parents know, too.

“Who is he?” Mr. Wang asked.

“Wh— who is… who?” Jackson stuttered quietly.

Mr. Wang dropped his fist onto the table, making the glassware shake and his mother jump in her seat. She placed her hand over his, in hopes to calm him down.

“I’m not going to ask you again.” Mr. Wang replied angrily.

“Mark. My… my boyfriend.” Jackson confessed, shrinking into himself.

“Oh, Gaga…” Mrs. Wang said in a tone laced with pity. “Since when? We’ve always seen you with girls.”

“S-since… middle school? I’ve um— I’ve always liked both but Mark’s—”

“Liked both? What do you mean ‘both’? So he’s right then… you’re gay?” Mr. Wang asked.

Jackson’s breathing started to pick up. He did not like where this was heading. “No. I’m… I’m bisexual. Meaning, I like both. Girls and g-guys.”

“That makes you gay, son.” his father accused sharply. 

There was a deafening silence that went by torturously slow. If the floor had opened up, and swallowed Jackson whole, it would’ve felt a lot better than this. He wanted to disappear.

“We don’t get people that choose to live like… like _that_. It’s wrong. And you know better, Jiaer.” Mr. Wang responded. Jackson’s breathing stumbled at hearing his Chinese name. His dad only called him that on the fencing mat or when he was in trouble. “Didn’t we raise you better than this? Where did we go wrong with you?”

Jackson was starting to get offended, his fists balling up underneath the table. His father was being extremely ignorant and insensitive. He didn’t need them to ‘get it’. And he didn’t want their goddamn pity either. “Choose? You think I chose to be bisexual?” he asked hysterically. “And nothing’s wrong with me, dad. It’s not a disease!” Mr. Wang scoffed in disgust at Jackson’s use of the term. For his dad, him using the word makes it all the more real and he just refused to accept it. “Sophia, we are not having this conversation, anymore. This is over.” He looked back at Jackson with stern eyes. “You and that _boy_ are done.”

“What!? Dad, you can’t do that!” Jackson cried out.

Mrs. Wang sat up straight, eyes jumping between them both as she helplessly watched things unravel.

“I can and I did!” Mr. Wang yelled out. “From now on, you go to school, go to practice and come straight home. Nothing else!” he demanded, standing up out of his chair. “I may not be able to control your — your sickness! — but I can control where you go while you’re living under my roof!”

Jackson watched in astonishment as his dad angrily left the room. He didn’t understand why this was such a big deal. He was respectful, always making sure everybody smiled, he got good grades, was one of the best athletes in his bracket. What the fuck else do his parents want from him? He expected his father not to be fond of him coming out but for him to be this angry, this disgusted, made him feel like a piece of trash unworthy of love.

It hurt.

His father’s words settled in like a dagger slowly twisting into his chest and Jackson’s eyes started to sting, tears welling at the rim. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. What felt like home was shattering right in front of him and he didn’t know how to stop it. He desperately looked over to his mother with wet eyes. “Mom?” he whimpered, bottom lip quivering. “Mommy, please… I love him.”

Mrs. Wang looked up at Jackson in surprise the moment she heard his confession. Her heart split into pieces when their eyes connected, the sorrow pouring over him becoming achingly evident. This isn’t what she imagined for her son but she didn’t realize it was this serious for him, until now. There was an internal struggle present in her mind, unsure if she should stand behind her husband and beliefs or stand behind her son. However, one thing would always be clear — she hated to see Jackson in pain.

“Come here, Gaga.” she said. Jackson stood up out of the chair, dragging his feet to her and then fell to his knees, finally crying into her lap. The sobs tugged at her, guilt beginning to creep in that she didn’t even interject at least once. Maybe had she said something, anything at all, it wouldn’t have blown up as badly as it did. She sighed, gently rubbing his back. She knew it wouldn’t mend her son’s heart but she still attempted to get rid of some of the pain.

“It’s gonna be okay… you’re gonna be okay.”

  


//

 

The first day back to school was miserable for Jackson. He woke up to several missed calls and unread text messages from Mark, and a few from JB and Jinyoung. He had turned his phone off when he went up to his room, not really in the mood to talk to or hear from anybody. An apology to Mark is inevitable, Jackson knows this, but he has no idea how to convey what he’s feeling right now so he’s been dodging him all day, ranking number one as the worst boyfriend on the planet. When the final bell rang, he thought he had made it out alive until he saw Mark sitting alone by the bike racks. Jackson should’ve known he would just trap him at his skateboard.

Dammit.

He reluctantly walked over and stopped right in front of Mark’s feet 

“Hi…” Jackson murmured, nervously squeezing at his backpack straps. He wasn’t sure which Mark he was going to get, in this moment.

Mark looked up at him, squinting due to the sunlight, then looked back down. He was rolling a small rock in between his fingers, a tactic he often uses to calm himself down.

“What’s going on with you?” he inquired.

“What do you mean?” Jackson asked, playing dumb.

“I know you’ve been avoiding me, Jackson. Stop fuckin’ with me.” Mark bit back, looking back up at him. He sounded angry but his eyes were heavy with sadness.

Jackson sighed and sat down beside him, knees propped up. He didn’t know how to begin to explain why he ghosted his boyfriend. He felt like actually telling him would officially make the problem real and he didn’t want to face it. But he knew he had no choice. It’s the least he could do to ease Mark’s worries.

“My dad’s assistant outed me.” Jackson admitted.

Mark’s head shot up in surprise. “No way.”

Jackson nodded, picking up a pebble and angrily throwing it across the bike racks. “And he says I can’t see you anymore.”

Mark opened his mouth to speak but eventually closed it, and sat back against the fence, stretching his legs out in defeat. The concrete was hot; searing at the skin on his calves but he kept them in place, anyway. He didn’t care. The thought of losing Jackson hurt a lot worse.

“I’m so sorry, Mark. You know I don’t want this, at all. Didn’t mean to ignore you but I just… I didn’t know how to tell you…” Jackson paused. “Too scared.”

Mark nodded silently.

“I can’t hang out with you any of you guys anymore, actually.” Jackson continued. “Only allowed to go to practice and go home. So, if you wanna leave me—”

“Jackson, will you stop?” Mark finally spoke up. “I’m not leaving you.”

“You’re not?”

“No! Why in the hell would I do that?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d wanna deal with me after this shit.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Mark confirmed. “No offense but your dad can fuck off. He can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Jackson chuckled at his comment and persistence, laying his head back against the fence.

“Did they at least let you keep your phone?” Mark asked.

Jackson nodded.

“Okay, then. I’ll just see you at school and we can FaceTime when we get home.” Mark reassured, grabbing his hand.

“We’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

 

//

 

The days rolled on by, Jackson and Mark trying their hardest to keep to their word. They met up after every bell, sharing a quick kiss or hug before rushing off to their next class. When it was lunch time, they couldn’t keep their hands off one another. Thigh squeezing one moment, pecks on the cheek, the next. It had gotten so bad that some days, they’d sneak into the cafeteria restroom to fool around in a stall and pull quick orgasms out of each other. There were too many students in the cafeteria during lunch periods for administration to keep tabs on who went in and out so they never once got caught. Regardless, the idea of getting busted was actually thrilling.

By the middle of the fourth week, however, things had fallen apart. One of them would be waiting in the hallway after a bell, for the other to not even show up. The text messages in class went from dozens per period to maybe a few, per day. And as far as the FaceTiming at night, that was only occurring a few days a week and even then, the time they spent was short; no more than fifteen or twenty minutes.

Jackson’s fencing practice has almost doubled due to his tournament coming up which left him way less time to study for his final exams and sleep. Mark’s college duties were stressing him out. He was applying into every school he knew he could get into (community colleges, included), plus a handful of schools where he was unsure. The hunt for grants and scholarships was never-ending, not to mention he’s been studying for his SATs and final exams, as well. It didn’t help that all these stresses had them arguing a lot more lately. Sure, they were small, petty arguments but compared to most couples their age, arguing was never really a problem of theirs until now. The dynamic of their relationship had completely changed. The saddest part of it all was that neither of them really had the time or energy to notice.

That is, until the morning of prom night…

  


Jackson was up early, packing up his fencing equipment for practice, when he decided to give Mark a call. He knew he wouldn’t be able to talk to Mark afterwards, so he was adamant in squeezing it in, now.

“Hello?” Mark answered groggily.

“Hey… my bad, did I wake you?” Jackson asked in concern.

“It’s seven in the morning, babe. Of course you did." 

“Well, I have practice in a little bit so I figured I’d call you now and get it out the way.” Jackson said, sitting on top of his bed.

“You make it sound like a chore.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Jackson sighed. “Practice runs all day, baby, you know that. I won’t be able to call you tonight.”

“Yeah. I know.” Mark said bitterly. He knew Jackson’s new schedule like the back of his hand at this point, but it didn’t make it easier.

Jackson rubbed at his face in frustration, attempting to change the subject. “You know, it’s prom night, tonight. Have fun and take lots of pics for me.” He heard rustling on the other end of the phone then complete silence. “Mark?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you hear me? I said it’s prom night--”

“I heard you. I’m not going.” Mark stated.

“What? Why not?”

“Jack, you know why. I only agreed to go in the first place because you were going. You can’t go, anymore. So, what’s the point?”

“I already told you what the point is. You should experience it. Besides, Jinyoung and JB will still be there.” Jackson repeated.

“I know all of that. I still don’t wanna go.”

Mark and Jackson were starting to get irritated. It wasn’t necessarily directed at each other but at their current situation, in general. They’re exhausted, stressed out and haven’t spent any quality time with one another in weeks. Mark didn’t want to go because social events aren’t his thing to begin with and his personal safety net would be gone. Jackson, on the other hand, was being pushy about the matter because he feels guilty. It’s his father keeping him from seeing Mark and it’s his father’s assistant who snitched. He figures if Mark went and enjoyed himself, at least he wouldn’t feel like he’s the reason their relationship is falling apart. Part of him wishes he denied everything. Then, maybe, none of this would be happening.

“Mark, just go. The room is already booked, anyway.” Jackson continued.

“You didn’t get your refund?”

“Nah. I tried. They need a 24-hour notice… I waited too long. Forgot all about it.”

“Oh. Well, it doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m not going without you.” Mark persisted.

“But—”

“Baby, please?” Mark begged from underneath his covers. “I don’t wanna argue, okay? You know we don’t have much time. I just wanna talk to you… I miss you. ”

Jackson pouted a bit. He misses Mark, too. So, so much. His father has him practicing right after school to almost eight o’clock at night on weekdays and on weekends, it’s practically an all day schedule. Might as well be a double-shift at work; and that’s only on a good day. If he performs poorly, even more time gets added. He’s drained, mentally and physically and he’s beginning to resent his dad. He knows the tournament is around the corner and it could just be a coincidence but in his mind, his father’s doing this on purpose; adding torture on top of his ridiculous punishment.

He really didn’t want Mark to miss prom because of him. The older tried to put up a front like he wasn’t excited to go but Jackson saw the way he lit up at the mall when they had gone shopping. Jackson knows was he was looking forward to it and now, his weeks of planning and some of his money is down the drain.

“Okay, I’ll let it go if you promise me one thing...” Jackson said.

“What is it?”

“Next year… be my date?”

Mark smiled into the phone.

“Deal.”

 

//

 

Mark is standing in his full-size mirror, slowly running his hands down his suit vest. He got dressed over an hour ago and has just been wandering around his room, since. He called Jackson on FaceTime, three times, just to show off his new dapper look and see him one more time but he never picked up. There’s a bit of dark eyeshadow in the corners of his eyes, slightly feminizing his already gorgeous features. Surprisingly, he really likes it (He didn’t really have much of a choice, Jinyoung practically beat him up with the makeup brush). A tinge of sadness is pulsing in the corners of his chest but he told himself he’d try his hardest to actually enjoy the event. He knew it was going to be hard without Jackson there but after Jinyoung reminded him of the commitment he made over the break, he eventually changed his mind.

_Make as many memories as you can. Remember?”_

He made his way downstairs and into the living room, getting a front-row seat of Jinyoung and JB cooing at one another. Jinyoung is adjusting JB’s neck tie giggling about something and JB is looking back with nothing short of endearment in his eyes. Mark felt a spike of jealousy creep up his skin so he turned away to see his mother walking up to him with his boutonniere.

“My first baby boy. You look so handsome.” she gushed with a smile, pulling him in for a hug.

“So proud of you, son.” his father added, patting Mark on the back.

The small smile that crept up on Mark’s face was genuine. There was a warmth making an appearance that he didn’t know he needed, until know. “Thanks, mom and dad.” he said in gratitude.

Mrs. Tuan let him go, feeling compelled to address his sad energy. “I want you to enjoy your night, okay? His parents, they…” she paused, adjusting his bowtie. “They’ll come around.”

Unwelcomed emotions began to bubble at the surface of his heart so he cleared his throat, nodding in response. At the end of it all, he hoped that his mom said was right. He doesn’t understand how a person so hateful could help create the sweetest person he’s ever met. The night they had a long talk about what to do in the event Jackson’s coming out went wrong, was supposed to be simply that — a just in case. He never imagined in a million years that it would actually become a reality, for him. And to think, Jackson dealt with the aftermath of that all alone. Part of him wishes he had called so he could at least be there for him but he knows in hindsight, that’s selfish. When he was struggling with his sexuality, he didn’t want to talk to anybody, either. It’s also a very privileged thing for him to think, as his family is beyond accepting and supportive. It’s easy for someone to say what they would have done in a situation when it doesn’t directly affect them.

While Mark was in the middle of his thoughts, he caught Joey flying down the stairs in the corner of his eye. His little brother asked their parents to invite some of his friends over while Mark was out for the night so he assumes the doorbell must’ve rang.

Mrs. Tuan was attempting to pin the boutonnière to Mark’s lapel, when he felt it bite through the fabric, and nick at his skin. “Ouch, mom!” he hissed, rubbing at his chest. He looked down to jokingly chastise her but noticed she was staring in the direction of the front door.

When Mark followed her line of sight, his breathing stopped short.

“Jackson…”

  


//

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllooooo. 
> 
> I know I said prom night would probably be in this chapter but then it would've been way too long (for me), so I decided to cut it up. Hope you don't mind and I hoped you enjoyed it. (My apologies if there are any errors. I always re-read and fix them, anyway. LOL.)
> 
> Leave comments, if you'd like. I like talking to you guys! :D
> 
> xoxo


	5. 05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prom night is finally heeeeere. 
> 
> Before you read, I'd like to state that I work at a school. Students are back on Monday, so I won't be posting as frequently as I did during the summer. But don't worry, I'll be here. I don't have a life; I ain't going nowhere. LMAO.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy : )

Everything moved in slow motion as Jackson walked through the doorway and into the foyer. His shiny, pointed-toe dress shoes left echos between Mark’s ears with every step. Jackson’s pants and tuxedo coat were perfectly pressed, not a single wrinkle in sight. Two thin silver chains were draped in the space between his neck and chest, glistening in the light; one sitting a little higher than the other. The strands in his hair were now a striking white-blonde, parted down the side and curved toward his fresh undercut.

Mark watched him walk to his father first, the two sharing a silly fist bump. It was embarrassing at first; his dad has this weird obsession with being as ‘down’ with the youth as he possibly can. However, over time, it’s just become a cute thing that they share. Jackson then pulled his mother in for an embrace, lifting her up off the floor. Their radiant laughter filled the living room and Mark swore the room got brighter. He hasn’t heard joy like this in so long and he truly missed it. His parents have liked Jackson from the very beginning and he’s always looked forward to their interactions but this one has to be his favorite.

At last, their eyes met and for a second, Mark forgot how to breathe.

“Hey.” Jackson said, kissing him on the cheek.

Mark opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. It took him weeks, miserable weeks at that, to finally accept that he wouldn’t experience prom (or at least with Jackson). Yet, here he is, in his home, beaming from the inside out and looking completely different from before. Mark had been staring back in surprise for a while, when consciousness eventually settled back in, a smile slowly forming on his face. “Hi…” he whispered back.

Jackson scanned Mark up and down, taking note of his brown hair pushed back into loose waves, spotlighting the shape of his handsome face. The eyeshadow jumped out, now that he got a closer look, and his breath stumbled. “Wow. You look amazing.”

“Your hair.” Mark replied, blinking back into reality. He didn’t even hear the compliment   because he would have never guessed Jackson would stroll up to him with bleached hair. Although it came as bit of a shock, it’s obviously a look that fits. Bold, just like him.

Jackson squealed. “You like it?”

Mark nodded, moving around him get a good look at his profile and then bit his lip; he had to keep the remainder of his thoughts to himself. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t come.” he asked, confused. Jackson stepped to the side, gesturing for him to look towards the front door. Mark looked up to see a petite woman, can’t be any more than five-foot-two, standing in the foyer. A few wrinkles decorate her skin but her face is still bright and youthful. Her brown eyes are big and round, just like Jackson’s, and her long dark hair was loosely curled at the ends. There was an obvious hesitance in her movements but when Jackson grabbed her hand and gently pulled her closer, the hesitation morphed into a grace that only came with women her age.

Mark’s heart began racing because he knows exactly who she is. And even though he was nervous, his manners always stayed in place. “Hi, Mrs. Wang.” he greeted awkwardly, slightly bowing his head. She looked up at him, appearing to be examining his face, then politely grabbed his hand. “So, _you’re_ the young man that has my son head over heels, huh?”

Jackson screamed out into the room, visibly cringing toward the ceiling and ran into the hallway, humiliated that his mother just put him on blast. He dramatically slid his body down the wall and Jinyoung and JB began laughing at his antics. Mark let out a giggle, enjoying the scene unfolding in front of them; it’s rare that Jackson gets embarrassed. “Yes, ma’am. Nice to finally meet you. I’m Mar—”

“Oh!” she cooed merrily, cutting off his words with a smile. “You have such a beautiful smile. And I know who you are, dear. Trust me.”

“Thank you. Um…” Mark paused, flustered at the compliment. “These are my parents, Raymond and Dorine Tuan.” He watched the three of them bow to each other and get acquainted off to the side. It was hard for him to grasp that all of this was really happening. Just an hour ago, he was anticipating an uneventful night and now, he’s meeting his boyfriend’s mother for the first time. Jackson always spoke highly of her, several photos of her in his locker and phone, so in his mind, she wasn’t exactly a complete stranger. Regardless, this entire moment was surreal.

He glanced over again then quickly slid into the hallway, bumping into Jackson, who was already on his way back into the room. Mark immediately threw his arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. “I missed you.” he whispered. Jackson closed his eyes and tightly wrapped his arms around his waist. “Missed you more.”

Mark took a few deep breaths in his embrace, giving him a peck on the lips before backing away. When he scanned Jackson’s look once again, he gasped, remembering that he never packed his hotel bag. “Shit. I’ll be right back!” he exclaimed, jogging up the stairs. Barging into his bedroom, he quickly grabbed everything he would need for their hotel stay. Now that he’s got Jackson back — even if it’s just for the night — he was going to take advantage of every second.

He rapidly walked back downstairs and gave his keys and bag to Jinyoung, asking him to place it in his car. The three decided, long before Jackson showed up, to take one vehicle to the event but now that things have changed, Mark wanted to take his own. Jinyoung revealed earlier that JB also booked a room for them at the same hotel simply because it just made sense. The whole setup was convenient being that the dance is held in the same building, but in one of its many first-floor ballrooms. Once prom ended or if they chose to depart early, they wouldn’t have to leave the property, at all; they’d only have to head up to another floor.

Jackson walked up to Mark with his own boutonniere case in hand and opened it. “I didn’t get to put yours on, your mom beat me to it. But… I still have mine, if you wanna do it, for me.” Mark took the boutonniere out of its case and placed the case onto the coffee table. Removing the pin from the back, he gently placed it against Jackson’s lapel, trying to decide where he should pin it. His eyes crawled upward, lips preparing to ask if the spot he chose was okay but all the words tumbled back down his throat. Jackson is staring back at him, pure infatuation reflecting in his eyes. “You look so good, babe.” he complimented, for the second time. Mark felt a blush coming so he looked back down to focus on the task at hand, whispering out a thank you. “You do, too.” he murmured. Jackson’s eyes have always been mesmerizing but with the blonde hair, they look even darker. There’s a sharp contrast between the two and Mark thinks — no, he knows — it’s going to be a lot more difficult than normal, to fall into his gaze.

_Tonight’s going to be interesting…_

“My mom wants to talk to you.” Jackson whispered to him after finishing, patting him on the butt. Mark nervously shuffled over to the sofa and took a seat next to her. He wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to talk about but he told himself he’d be prepared for whatever, even though he knew that was a lie.

“Hi, dear.” she smiled sweetly. “I wish we would have met under a better pretense but I’m so glad to have finally met you.” Mark nodded, deciding that the gesture would be better than him speaking and making a complete fool out of himself. “You know… my son has had his share of special... ‘friends’...  but he absolutely _adores_ you. Now, I understand why.” she said, looking him in the eye. Mark softened at her kind words and he glanced up at Jackson on the other side of the room.  He’s speaking animatedly to JB, his personality taking over the space, like it always does.

“I’m sure you know by now that his father isn’t adjusting too well.” she continued with a sigh, Mark immediately looking back at her. “But I just wanted to personally talk with you and… apologize.”

An unstable breath was released, one that he had no idea he was holding. It’s uncertain what he expected her to say but he wasn’t expecting that.

It felt good.

“You care about my son, I can see it. And at the core, that’s all I want for him — to be happy. So… thank you, sweetheart.” she said, patting his hand in nurturing manner. “It’s going to take a little time unlearning some things, so please excuse my future ignorance but… you two have my full support. Okay?”

Mark felt his eye sockets start to sting, so he smiled at her, hoping it would push the tears away. He couldn’t cry right now, he refused. There was an overwhelming sense of relief washing over him and now he could breathe a little bit easier. Sure, this doesn’t change Jackson’s father’s views or their current circumstance completely but it helps to know that at least one of his parents is rooting for them. Mrs. Wang pulled him in for a hug, gently rubbing his back. She was hoping the embrace would lead him to understand that moving forward, he would be like a son for her, too. Mark eagerly hugged her back and expressed his gratitude.

If he could pause the clock and marinate in this moment, he would.

 

Jackson lightened up the mood with a joke and in an instant, cameras started appearing out of thin air. Their parents forced all the boys to take several solo shots in front of the decorative fireplace (the thing hasn’t been turned on once — it’s California — but his mom loves it), some in their respective pairs and some as a full group, as well. It went unnoticed but JB snuck in dozens of candids earlier, using his professional camera, the second Jackson walked into the house. It was supposed to be used solely for documenting school-sponsored events but he knew the couple would want to relive this, later.

When Jinyoung pointed out that they were falling behind schedule, the parents finally let up and allowed them to leave. They stood on the doorstep and waved the boys off, not before reminding them to be safe and make smart decisions. Joey yelled out an inappropriate and suggestive joke, (thankfully, a joke the parents didn’t quite grasp) and the boys awkwardly rushed inside the cars.

Mark left himself a mental note to beat Joey’s ass when he came back home.

 

  
  
//  


 

The sky was covered in purple and pieces of pink as the last of the sun slowly hid behind the horizon. They’ve traveled onto the highway, moving deeper into the city and traffic was heavy. It’s a Saturday evening, so it was to be expected. Mark usually displays a bit of road rage in cases like this but right now, the vehicular constipation didn’t bother him, at all. Aside from his focus obviously being on the road when necessary, it was also on Jackson, hand securely placed on his thigh. The younger eventually grabbed it and linked their fingers together, slipping right into his habit of rubbing his thumb across the top of Mark’s palm. “Your mom is so nice.” he spoke up into the comfortable silence. “How’d you get her to let you come?”

Jackson proceeded to tell him what happened after they got off of the phone, that morning. Mrs. Wang asked to come into his room and instead of her usual chipper demeanor, she walked in and sat on his bed like there was a heaviness on her heart.

 

~

 

_“Gaga. We need to talk.” she confessed._

_“Okay… everything okay? I’m not in trouble again, am I?” he asked, worried that he may have gotten caught talking to Mark on the phone._

_“No, no, you’re not in trouble. I just — I need to apologize to you, sweetie.”_

_Jackson blinked in surprise. “For what, mom?”_

_“For how me and your father treated you.”_

_Jackson didn’t speak after that, his eyes falling on to the floor. He tried his hardest to leave that memory in the back of his mind, never wanting to revisit one of the worst days of his life. His father hasn’t spoken to him since, choosing to only text important information regarding practice, even when he was in the house. Being ignored by his own dad makes his heart feel like it was being stretched apart but Jackson refused to give in because he knew he wasn’t wrong for loving who he loves. So, instead of even trying to figure out why or try to get back in his father’s good graces, he just ignored him, too._

_When Jackson would come home, he’d acknowledge his mother with a hug or kiss and walk right past his father; not a single word muttered. If he heard someone in the kitchen, he’d peak around the corner first, to see who it was. If it was his mom, he’d happily join her; helping her prep the meal, cook or clean. If it was his dad, he’d turn around and go right back upstairs, hunger be damned. If his dad came into the room when it was just him and his mom, he’d immediately stop talking and then eventually leave. It was mainly due to the fact that as the days went on, Jackson had been sharing as much information about Mark as he could. It wasn’t intentional, at least he doesn’t think it was, but he just couldn’t stop gushing to his mom about him. It seemed to magnify because they couldn’t really be around each other. It especially kicked into overdrive, when he noticed his mom didn’t have the same dismissive attitude as his dad. She was much more open and actually asked questions about their relationship, something that eased the pain a little. She was being understanding and supportive, all the things a parent is supposed to be._

_“You know, I’ve always had a vision for your life, like most parents do. It’s so hard to accept when your kids start to separate from that vision. It’s even a bit scary. But you’re growing up, son, and I have to adapt to that.”_

_Jackson just listened, appreciative of the words but unclear as to what her point was going to be._

_“I’m so proud of you. You know that, right? I’ve always been proud of you. I always will be.” she stressed, caressing his cheek._

_Jackson nodded at her, gently pressing his face into her hand._

_“And Mommy loves you.” she continued._

_“I love you too.” he echoed, grabbing her hand._

_“I’ve been watching you these past few weeks and how miserable you’ve become; it just breaks my heart.” she said, trying to stop herself from crying. “I’m working on myself, okay? It’s a struggle, I won’t lie, trying to… understand all of this. But I’m trying. I just want you to be happy.” she paused. “Do you believe me?”_

_Jackson squeezed her hand, trying to keep himself from breaking. He hated seeing his mother cry. “I‘ve noticed, mom, I promise I have. And I really appreciate it. That’s all I wanted.”_

_“I —” she frowned. “I can’t change your father’s mind about all of this but I’m going to try, okay? Maybe get him to be a bit warmer. That’s a good start, right?”_

_Jackson nodded again. He didn’t think that would honestly change a thing because his father’s always been emotionally rough with him. There was barely any empathy; any patience. He’s never seen his dad vulnerable, not even when his own parents passed away, so the idea of_ **_THE Ricky Wang_ ** _being ‘warm’, is a foreign concept. It can’t even be pictured in his mind. Jackson’s spent his entire life, since he could remember, trying to prove his worth to him. From the moment he learned how to speak, his dad was teaching him both Mandarin and English. When he could run, he was thrown into a fencing uniform. Once Jackson got a bit older and could take the verbal beatings his father so eloquently called ‘Lessons Of A Champion’ without crying or being visibly broken, that’s when the molding of an olympian began. His whole life has practically been laid out for him from the beginning and to be frank, he fucking hates it._

_“Your father just left for another few weeks.” Mrs. Wang noted. Jackson hummed nonchalantly. At this point, he was mentally checking out. He loves his mom to death but she’s rambling and he’s sleepy enough, as it is. “So!” she said with a clap, voice higher-pitched than before. “Practice is cancelled.”_

_Jackson’s head popped up to look at her. “Cancelled? Why?”_

_“Because… my son has a prom to go to.” she answered, winking at him._

_With wide eyes, he pulled her in for a suffocating hug. He kissed her face over and over and over; to the point where she had to beg him to stop. Once it was explained to him that she had a hair appointment scheduled, he threw his bag back into the closet and got dressed. He wanted so badly to tell Mark that he could go but he thought it’d be better if it were a surprise. So, Jackson spilled the beans to Jinyoung instead, telling him to do whatever he needed to do, to get Mark to agree._

 

_~_

 

“Ohhhh. So, that’s why he was so damn pushy!” Mark recounted. “I’m gonna kill him.”

Jackson cackled into the car. “Surprise!”

  


//

  


Gorgeous chandeliers dangled from the high ceiling, sparkles of light twinkling on the glass and metal fixtures. The marble tile was essentially spotless, his own silhouette reflecting back at him, in the floor. The room had a subtle golden tint to it and Mark’s never seen a space so luxurious in his life. The constant reverberation of heels and dress shoes tapping against the ground had him look back up to see a constant flow of teenagers walking back and forth, presumably in their most formal attire, to date.

Jackson secretly checked into the hotel with JB earlier in the day but they walked to the front desk again, this time to drop Mark’s bag off, so it would already be secure in the room later tonight. There was a line of guests present so Mark sat down in one of the sofas, Jinyoung taking a seat next to him.

“Hey… you doing okay?” Jinyoung asked, nudging him in his side, referencing the current events with Jackson’s parents. It’s been clear to Mark that his relationship had taken a back seat, but now sitting here with his best friend, he realizes that they haven’t spent much time together lately, either. He rubbed at the webbing in between his fingers, analyzing himself for a few seconds, then looked up with a smile. “I feel a lot better, thanks. By the way….” he narrowed his eyes. “I cannot believe you kept such a huge secret from me. You watched me sulk that whole time!”

Jinyoung laughed. “I promised him! What else did you want me to do?”

“Whatever. Asswipe.” Mark mumbled, jokingly.

A few minutes of comfortable silence passed by as the pair just sat back people-watching, waiting for the other two to return. Jinyoung’s eyes cut to the side when he heard a girl laugh and then he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Can’t stand that bitch.” he murmured, folding his arms. Mark cracked up at his snarky demeanor, amused by the one-sided conflict that has seemed to go on, unbeknownst to her, for almost a year. It was a Jimin Park, president of the Student Government Association, a girl Jinyoung swears is obsessed with Jaebum. He’s never obtained any concrete proof of the notion but in his mind, he just _knows_. Even though he’s not really worried about a problem coming into fruition, it doesn’t matter; the girl was trouble, as far as he’s concerned.

Jimin and her friends saw the two sitting off to the side and headed in their direction, Mark’s smile dropping. “Oh, shit. They’re coming over here.” he quickly whispered. Jinyoung immediately sat up straight, crossing his legs. It was always bizarre watching him put his mask on; it’s as if he had two different people residing in his body. Mark had to admit though, it was entertaining to witness, firsthand.

“Hi, Mark!” she said chipperly, looking over to Jinyoung. “...hi, Jinyoung.”

“Hi, Jimin.” both boys said back, Jinyoung glancing around the group. “No date tonight?”

There was a quick, mischievous glint in her eyes but her smile remained steady. “No, just here with my girls. I have some… important S.G.A. business to tend to. Having a date would’ve been pointless.”

“Oh… how unfortunate.” Jinyoung mumbled the last bit in a chastising tone and Mark discreetly pinched him on the thigh. He wasn’t sure if Jimin heard him but he wasn’t about to wait and find out. It was only so long before Jinyoung would start to get _really_ petty and Mark wouldn’t be able to hold his laughter in. “I saw that you’re up for prom queen, Jimin. Good luck!” he said with a tense grin, hoping she’d take the hint that the conversation was over. Jimin eyebrow twitched, a discreet smirk coming right after but she thanked him and departed with her friends.

“You are such a bitch _,_ Jinyoung. Oh my god.” Mark stated while laughing. “That poor girl.” Jinyoung just shrugged with a satisfied grin, not feeling any remorse, whatsoever. He tapped Mark on the arm then stood up, signaling that the boys were making their way back over.

“What’s so funny?” Jaebum asked, adjusting the camera strap around his neck.

“Nothiiing.” Jinyoung sang out, swiftly locking their arms together. “Let’s go.”

Mark felt Jackson take his hand and then he moved closer, excitement bubbling inside of his chest.

_Let the festivities begin._

  
  


Every speaker in the ballroom thumped as the music loudly pulsed out, the vibrations constantly sending waves up Mark’s body through his feet. They’ve missed an hour of the event already, so the dance floor is completely covered by the crowd. It’s mostly dark aside from the colorful spotlights and strobes rotating from the ceiling. There would be an occasional dim ray of illumination sweeping by, that came from the flashlights held by the chaperones. It was well-known that their job was to make sure the students weren’t doing anything inappropriate like sneaking drugs and alcohol or dancing too provocatively but mostly everybody in here was a senior and on their way out; the rules were bound to be disregarded.

Dozens of covered tables were lined alongside the walls, topped with buffet chafers full of hot food and disposable flatware. Mark even spotted a bunch of chocolate fountains next to trays full of strawberries and made a promise to himself that he would not leave here, without getting a taste. The stage wasn’t huge but it was big enough to fit the DJ’s booth plus the entire prom court, when it came time for that. A massive banner adorned the backdrop, _Class of 2018_ written across in bold, cursive lettering. Mark couldn’t think of a more conclusive way to remind them all that they were just a few weeks away from moving on.

Several months ago, this entire setting would’ve had Mark retreating to the nearest roundtable to sit down and disassociate. Jackson was still holding his hand, albeit with a weaker grip, excitedly greeting his many friends coming up to say hello. Mark recognized a few, dapping them up into an embrace as well, if they spoke to him. He still can’t figure out how he fell in love with the biggest extrovert he’s ever known to exist but there’s something about Jackson’s personality that’s always been infectious. Mark used to be a mess, more than he would consider himself to be, now.

In the past, he didn’t speak much and when he did, it was clipped, coming off cold to people who didn’t really understand him. However, being around Jackson, has slowly pulled him out of that invisible shell; something that he’d always be appreciative of. Being that he’ll soon be developing a life outside of high school, he knows that it’ll be important to possess the ability to comfortably speak with people and if need be, speak up for himself, too. Jackson told him many times, when they were just friends, that he found the characteristics intriguing. Mark was the first person who didn’t open up to him right away and that was undiscovered territory for the younger; it was refreshing. The mysterious aura left him wanting more and they’ve been cemented to each other, ever since.

  
  
  


Whoever the DJ was, had the room completely pulled in and engaged, Mark included. The noise level refused to let up and the sea of arms seemed to never leave the air. The crowd howled in unison every time the song would transition into yet another hit, the intensity of the mood becoming contagious. Most of the tracks were hip-hop, his and Jackson’s favorite genre, so it wasn’t a surprise when his body finally surrendered to the heavy bass, rapping aloud and dancing alongside everyone else.

It’s unclear how long they’ve been on the dance floor but it has to have been a while because sweat was trickling down Mark’s face and back. If he’s sweating, he knows Jackson is most likely drenched, by now. “Wanna take a break?” he practically yelled over the music, into his ear. Jackson nodded and followed Mark through the tight and unyielding crowd. The cool air circulating on the outskirts engulfed them, both boys no longer feeling suffocated as they walked towards a refreshments table. The music is significantly quieter where they’re standing so it’s the perfect spot to take a breather. Jackson took off his coat, it being somewhat difficult as his clothes were clinging to his skin, and laid it down on the table next to them, catching his breath.

Mark grabbed a few napkins and then lightly dabbed at his face and neck. “Thanks, babe.” Jackson breathed out. The older nodded, waving a plate in front of him in an attempt to cool him off. “You look like you just finished a match. Cut back some, yeah?” he suggested. Jackson facetiously rolled his eyes but ultimately agreed. He thought it was cute how Mark naturally took over, his age moving to the forefront; especially when he thought Jackson might be hurt or not at his best level of health.

Mark glanced at the table, the smell of the food finally reaching his nose and lit up. “Mmm.” he hummed, grabbing a plate. Jackson didn’t notice until now that he was really hungry, the dancing working up a serious appetite, so he began piling food on top of a plate, as well. They moved further down and Mark gasped, speeding up in elation; he forgot that there are chocolate fountains here. “Babe!” he beamed, taking a few skewers and sliding the strawberries and marshmallows underneath the waterfall. “You’ve never seen a chocolate fountain before?” Jackson asked, amused by his child-like astonishment. Mark shook his head no, sucking the excess chocolate off of his finger. “Not in person.” he explained, grabbing Jackson’s coat off the table. “C’mon, let’s go eat.”

 

Jinyoung is at a table in the center, sadly picking over fruit with a fork, when he noticed the two approaching. Jackson placed their plates down onto the table and sat down, hanging his coat on the back of his chair. “Jinyoungiiiiie. What’s wrong?” he asked right before Mark slid sideways into his lap. He instinctively widened his arms to make room, then wrapped them around the older; one hand placed on his thigh, the other loosely cradling his butt.

Jinyoung sighed and sat back in his seat. “It’s nothing. Beommie is here working so I don’t wanna bother him but I’m so bored.” he clarified. Mark frowned, curling his arm around the back of Jackson’s neck. “He’s allowed to participate, right?” he asked. Jinyoung nodded. He definitely wouldn’t have come if JB wasn’t allowed to enjoy the event with the rest of his peers; that would’ve been pointless. He was aware that there would be some parts of the night where he couldn’t be with him but he didn’t think it would be this bad. On the surface and to the perception of others looking in from the outside, he’s being a bit dramatic; it’s really not that big of deal. However, Jinyoung knows the real reason why he’s so somber is due to a much larger issue. He can’t help but wonder if this is what he’ll feel like when Jaebum’s in college  — he feels so alone.

“Hey. Go find him and dance. You’re fuckin’ up the vibe.” Mark claimed, trying to push him out of his foul mood and the chair. Jinyoung smiled at his attempt to be encouraging then pushed him back. “Fine.” he said, buttoning his coat back up. “I’ll see you guys later.” Jackson watched Jinyoung leave and then his eyes slid up to Mark. The older had a relaxed grin on his face, enjoying watching others enjoy themselves. This is the first time of the night where they would be able to decompress and talk to each other so he squeezed at his thigh, to get his attention. Mark looked down at him and smiled. “You having fun?” Jackson asked, instinctively smiling back. Mark nodded, his smile getting bigger. “I’m really happy your mom let you come, though. It wouldn’t have been the same.” he said, adjusting himself to move even closer.

Mark slid a strawberry off of one of the skewers and put it to Jackson’s lips so he could take a bite but the younger just stared at it. “Hurry up, idiot, it’s about to drip!” Mark said between laughs. Jackson cackled and then took a large bite, some of the chocolate falling onto his chin. Mark noticed and took hold of his jaw, tilting his head back to lick it off, without a second thought. He’s not sure where that boldness came from; this isn’t something they usually do in public, but he didn’t care, either. Jackson’s new look has had him feeling some type of way all night and he’s going to envelop those feelings head-on, for once. “I didn’t tell you at home, because y’know… my parents were around, but… you look really sexy tonight.” he explained. “I really like this look on you.” Jackson raised an eyebrow, partly surprised at what he just did and partly excited, as well. Mark’s been clinging onto him more than normal all night and if that’s any indication of how it will end, he wouldn’t mind running out of here at this very second.

Not. At. All.

A few quick kisses were exchanged but they soon became a lot less innocent the more their lips touched. Jackson’s grip was just about to tighten on his ass when they both heard a man obnoxiously clearing his throat off to the side. They pulled apart, to see one of the deans standing over them, looking highly upset. “That’s enough, gentlemen, you know better. You—” he pointed to Mark. “C’mon, off the lap. Now.” Mark rolled his eyes and slid off of Jackson and into the seat next to him. Any other time, he’d be embarrassed but now, he’s just annoyed. People seemed to almost always interrupt them when they were kissing. Jackson watched him walk off, then scoffed, taking a sip out of his water bottle. “Cock blocker.” The dean quickly turned back around, hearing what he said, and Jackson choked, with a panicked expression on his face. Mark broke out into a laughing fit and just that quick, his annoyance disappeared.  
  


Mark was morphing into a social butterfly, at least according to his own standard. Every so often, he would have to stop eating or talking to Jackson because one of his peers would come up to the table to say hello or take a picture. He didn’t consider himself to have many friends, his personality didn’t quite make room for that. Plus, he believed one could only have but so many authentic friends, especially in high school, one of the most petty social settings to ever exist. However, he was known for being a kind kid with a chill vibe (also being connected to Jackson adds to his visibility), so he’d say he does have dozens of associates in his circle. They’re not enemies but he knows once he graduates, he’ll never see most  of these people, again. Regardless, there’s a bit of pride swelling inside of him; he stuck to his commitment to enjoy the evening.

He’s genuinely having a blast.  
  


The DJ announced into the mic for everybody to make their back to the dance floor because the prom king and queen were about to be elected. The couple had no idea JB was nominated until they saw his name amongst the other nominees on the big screen, so they hurriedly left the table and walked back towards the stage. They found Jinyoung at the front and squeezed in to get behind him. Jackson obnoxiously yanked on his shoulders and Mark was howling with the crowd. Jinyoung laughed, trying to push them away; they’re embarrassing him.

The entire prom court walked onto the stage, JB being the last to step on. The boys yelled his name out from the crowd and JB waved back. A bunch of girls started squealing and Jinyoung just rolled his eyes, in response. It wasn’t in a malicious manner; he knew it was coming. Jaebum’s looks have had his peers, especially girls, flocking to him since he was a freshman. It’s old but he’s gotten used to it, at this point. The principal walked onto the stage with a sash and crown and the assistant principal followed, with a sash and tiara. When the DJ held up a red envelope, presumably with the winners’ names inside, it got eerily quiet. The nervousness on the nominees’ faces was clear as day, that it was almost laughable. Mark didn’t know this would be that big of a deal but apparently, it is.

_“...and the crown for prom king, class of 2018, goes to…_

 

_Jaebum Im!”_

Jinyoung unclenched his nervous fist and clapped hysterically, beyond excited for his boyfriend. JB’s smile took over his entire face when he moved ahead of the line, to get crowned. The principal placed the sash over his shoulders and shook his hand, then asked the remaining male students to leave the stage. JB moved to the side, as he was instructed and looked over at Jinyoung again, giving him a wink. Jinyoung winked back and Mark poked him in his side, letting him know he saw that entire exchange. The younger cut his eyes at him, going for his finger to bend it back, but Mark pulled it away just in time, cracking up at him. He loves to put Jinyoung on the spot. Others view him coldly, his sense of humor is often misunderstood. With JB around, however, he’s an entirely different person; much warmer — something Jinyoung loves to pretend isn’t true.

Mark wasn’t paying attention when the prom queen was announced but what he did notice, was Jinyoung’s whole demeanor go from bright to dark. If looks could kill, every single person in the room would be dead. Mark looked to the stage, to see Jimin Park getting crowned as prom queen and it all clicked. His jaw dropped and he looked back at Jinyoung, immediately grabbing his hand. It’s the first thing he could think to do, just to keep his friend from doing something he would regret later.

The crowd was asked to make space for the crowned pair so they could share a dance. Everyone expects the song to be a ballad, that’s what it always is, and it’s usually the cue that the event is within its last hour. A huge empty circle was created on the dance floor and everyone watched JB and Jimin, arms linked together, walk into the center.

The lights dimmed again and Jimin immediately moved closer, moving JB’s hands to her waist. He looked a bit uncomfortable with the placement, lips tensely pulled in, but he went along with it because he was an all-around nice individual and didn’t want to embarrass her or make a scene. Jinyoung watched them in a clouded daze and his heart sank. There was a feeling of inadequacy spiking through him and he wasn’t sure where it stemmed from. He’s never once, throughout their entire relationship, felt not good enough or felt that they didn’t fit together. But standing here, watching them sway back and forth, as if a breeze was manipulating their every move, he couldn’t help but think that they looked great as a couple — looked _better_.

Every so often JB would glance up, trying to find Jinyoung; not that the younger noticed. He was too busy staring at her — her small hand in his; his hand firm and steady, on her hip. When JB’s back was turned to him, Jimin peered over his shoulder and looked directly at Jinyoung. The way her eyes shifted, he knew she was smirking, too. The move was an obvious display of wickedness and for the first time, he was speechless. Jimin slid her eyes back to JB with a smile and moved closer — too close — resting her head on his chest. This entire situation just brought back his depressing thoughts from before and that was enough.

Mark felt Jinyoung’s grip loosening and tried to stop him. “Where are you going?” he asked, trying to hold on tighter. Jinyoung looked back at him with nothing but sadness in his eyes and Mark’s chest ached. Jinyoung isn’t the type to show sadness often; he opts to puts up a front as if he’s okay or just simply gets even with whoever hurt him. Mark honestly thought his friend was being ridiculous when it came to Jimin but he saw what she did, too. Of course, nobody else picked up on it because they don’t know the dynamic exists, not even Jaebum. But now, he feels guilty for not believing him in the first place and definitely doesn’t want him to go.

Jinyoung pulled his hand out of Mark’s grip and turned to leave. He had some trouble getting through the crowd and started to feel suffocated; almost if everybody knew why he was trying to get away and purposely wouldn’t let him out. There was a tug on his arm and he harshly pulled his arm away and turned back, a demand to be left alone on his lips. Everything came to a halt when he realized it wasn’t his Mark or Jackson tugging at him, but Jaebum. Remorse is sitting in his eyes — although Jinyoung doesn’t know why, he technically didn’t do anything wrong — and Jinyoung immediately softened. JB grabbed his hand and Jinyoung allowed himself to be pulled back into the center of the dance floor. The two stood staring at each other for a few long seconds and then JB grabbed Jinyoung’s arms, to wrap them around his neck. He pulled the younger closer, wrapping his arms around his waist and then it was their turn to sway to the sweet melody.

Mark beamed at them, glad that this didn’t turn into a huge altercation. He’s not sure where Jimin disappeared to but it doesn’t even matter. His best friend is happy and that’s what’s important. His smile suddenly dropped when he felt himself drifting into the circle, too. “No no no. Jack, what are you doing?!” Mark asked, his eyes  widening in alarm.

“Let’s go dance.” Jackson said.

Mark glanced at the dance floor again. “But nobody’s — it’s empty.”

Jackson gave him a sweet smile. “I know, babe. That’s the point. C’mon.” He held his hand out again and wiggled his fingers, beckoning for him to just take the leap. Mark pouted at the cute gesture, taking one more look up at his two friends, and then grabbed his hand.

Jackson pulled him close by the hips and Mark instinctively clung onto him, arms laced around his shoulders. His vision darted around the crowd, dozens of intrigued eyes staring right back. There was no negativity present in them; at least none that he could see, but it was still a little overwhelming. He heard girls quietly swooning over them and their friends, whispers of ‘ _Oh my god, who are they?_ ’ or ‘ _Aw, they’re so cute._ ’ crawling into his ears. Their restrained enthusiasm made him smile and he finally relaxed, eyes fluttering to a close.

 

~

 

_A crisp breeze blew past the basketball court, brown and orange leaves shivering in the trees. The park was fairly quiet, now that most people have left; only the chirping of crickets buzzing in the background. Mark was sitting on the cemented floor while Jackson sat right next to him, on his skateboard. They were watching the sunset, a nice rest from their few rounds of one-on-one, but it was clear it was almost time for them to go._

_“Babe, you mind giving me a ride home?” Jackson asked. “Too tired to ‘board.”_

_“I’d be tired too if I got my ass beat.” Mark replied, smirking._

_“Wow. First of all, you cheated. Let’s be honest, okay?” Jackson scoffed, with a smile._

_“You always say that when you lose.” Mark laughed. “But yeah, I’ll take you home.”_

_Although the arrangement was set, neither one of them actually made a move to get up and leave. Jackson mentioned his upcoming fencing match and that he was worried he wouldn’t be good enough to place. He was able to express all his darkest feelings; the baggage he never lets other people see. Mark wasn’t dismissive and didn’t invalidate him — something Jackson’s always been used to. Instead, he took every word seriously and even soothed out some of his insecurities, telling Jackson that he absolutely_ **_would_ ** _place and that he should believe in himself more because he was amazing._

_Mark said he was amazing._

_That was all he needed to finally gather the courage to say what he had been feeling, long before the two even started dating._

_“Hey, Mark?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“...I love you.”_

 

_~_

 

Mark felt movement around him and re-opened his eyes to see all the couples making their way back on the dance floor. Knowing they were no longer being watched, made him relax even more. He nuzzled his nose along Jackson’s neck, and took in a breath. The cologne he was wearing had him let out a tiny moan; it smelled so good. He left gentle kisses around his ear and jaw, before coming to accept what has been sitting in the corners of his mind, all damn night.

“Jack.” Mark whispered, in his ear. He loosened his arms and put a tiny bit of space between them, so he could look him in the eye.

“...let’s go to the room.”

  


//

  


The walk to the hotel room was torturous. Both boys hadn’t said a word since they said goodbye to their friends and left the ballroom, hands clammy and clasped together. The _ding_ was obscene and almost out of place when the elevator reached their floor _._ The weight of what the hotel room symbolized sat heavy on their minds, as Mark’s vision stayed glued to the carpet; Jackson’s straight ahead. Glances were stolen back and forth, a desperate attempt to figure out what the other was thinking or feeling; although it was obvious nervousness was on full display.

Jackson pulled the key out of his pocket and slid it into the door, turning the handle once the light changed to green. Mark was expecting him to walk in ahead but he didn’t so he looked up, getting an encouraging nod towards the inside. He stepped into the dimly lit room and then halted immediately, spinning around with wide eyes. “Jack, are you serious?” he murmured. Jackson didn’t say anything back but leaned on the wall with a smile. Mark took more steps inside, then slid out of his shoes. The floor and bedspread were sprinkled with red rose petals and Mark wanted to die. It was cheesy and simple. But it was sweet. It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him, leaving him completely speechless. “Like it?” Jackson asked, moving to sit on the end of the bed.

Mark didn’t answer, vision still sweeping through the room. There was a bubble of heat swelling in his chest, laying out all the feelings that have always been there, dwelling within the crevices of his heart. He’s not sure what the hell he did, especially at this age, to have someone who was so thoughtful and patient, so unpredictable but consistent at the same time. Jackson found all the things he hated about himself, beautiful — despite his awkwardness and anxieties. He had reached the darkest point in his life and then a ball of sunshine stumbled in unexpectedly and has been an unwavering ray of light, since.

After what seemed like eons, he finally turned to Jackson. Their eyes connected and a switch flipped in his body, as if it’s been waiting endlessly to be activated.

Mark climbed into his lap, straddling his thighs and pressed their lips together. The momentum almost forced Jackson to fall back but he planted his feet into the floor and brought his hands up to cup Mark’s ass; keeping both of them steady. The kiss started slow, lips touching ever so gently. However, the second Mark tilted his head and parted his lips, things switched gears. Jackson dove in to brush his tongue inside, fingers tightening and gripping where they were placed. Mark moved his hips forward, soliciting a grunt from the other and a surge of arousal straight to his groin.

He pulled back a bit to suck at Jackson’s plump lip while taking off his own tuxedo coat, vest and bow tie, tossing them to the side. Lightly dragging his bottom lip up the side of Jackson’s neck and gently biting there, Mark began unbuttoning his own dress shirt. “I want you.” he whispered into his ear, removing the article of clothing. Jackson blinked in surprise. Even though he was hoping for this, he had to be sure if Mark was saying what he _think_ he was saying. “You sure?” Jackson asked, holding onto his last bit of restraint — Mark has him losing it. This is the moment he’s been dreaming of for the longest. Now that it was here, it didn’t feel like reality. Mark slowly unbuttoned Jackson’s dress shirt, eyes not leaving his, then slid his hands underneath and over, so that both the shirt and coat could fall off of his shoulders. One glance of him in his fitted black tank top and Mark knew he wanted it.

He bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

Jackson turned them over and latched onto his neck, hungrily kissing and sucking on the skin. Mark had a strong desire to feel Jackson’s weight so he pulled his legs apart, melting into the mattress when he slipped in between them. Jackson began sucking harder, adamant in leaving several bruises. He was currently rocking a semi but that was definitely going to change, soon.

Jackson’s lips eventually traveled to the middle of Mark’s chest, kissing the beauty mark there and then continued down to his stomach. His fingers crawled up to remove Mark’s pants and boxers, the older lifting his hips to make the job easier. Without a single warning, Jackson took his cock into his mouth and began sucking. Mark’s jaw fell open in surprise, a moan tumbling out of it, right after. Jackson’s always been amazing at giving head, his mouth also being one of his many talents. Mark discreetly pushed his hips up off of the bed, and placed his hand on his head, slowly fucking into his mouth. Jackson opened up a bit more, once he noticed him moving, wrapping his hand tighter and speeding up. There was something about Jackson’s head being in his lap that would always send him over the edge; he’ll never get tired of it.

Mark was still pumping into his mouth when he felt him slowing down. He peered down the expanse of his body, with an inquisitive and annoyed, look. Jackson pulled off, chuckling at his facial expression and pumped with his hand, instead. “I gotta get the lube… gimme a sec.” Mark groaned in aggravation and watched him go into his bag. It wasn’t until now, that he realized he was still dressed. “You better be naked before coming back over here.” Mark demanded, laying his head back into the pillow. Jackson looked up at him, eyebrow raised in amusement but ultimately obliged. The tank top was pulled over his head first and then he kicked his shoes off and unbuckled his belt. Mark heard the clanking of the metal and lifted his head back up off the bed, catching him slide his pants and boxers down just in time. His eyes zeroed in on his cock — thick and heavy, even halfway to full erection — and he felt his own twitch, despite the nervousness of realizing that it would soon be sitting inside of him.

Jackson crawled back on the bed and poured some of the lube onto his fingers. Mark was beginning to get excited, aware of what was coming next. He’s been fingered a few times since the night of the sleepover and it’s just gotten better, the initial pain not as harsh as it was the very first time. Jackson warmed up the lube and then his hand disappeared, fingers rubbing at the rim. He circled it a few times and then slipped his finger in pretty easily, Mark biting his lip at the feeling. There wasn’t too much trouble for him to slide it in and out because Mark was relaxed enough. So, Jackson pulled it out to slide the second finger in, causing the older’s face to flinch in slight discomfort.

Jackson put his cock back into his mouth, bobbing his head at a fair and steady pace. Watching Jackson engulf him like this, just made Mark want to swallow him whole, too. However, the younger took over the moment he got the ‘okay’, seeming to want to skip past that, for now. Jackson had been scissoring him open for a little while when he turned his fingers up to rub at his prostate. Mark moaned again, hips backing into the mattress. When Jackson was able to twist inside of him easily, he slowly added a third, fingers immediately getting clamped down on. He stilled his movements but proceeded wiggling his fingers inside, focused on stretching him carefully.

Jackson sucked even harder at the taste of precome and kneaded into his spot once more. Mark felt himself trembling as an orgasm started to build, so he quickly reached down and pushed at his shoulders. “Stop, babe. Stop, stop, stop.” he pleaded. Jackson slowly pulled off with a loud slurp and then licked his lips. “You don’t wanna come?” he asked. Mark shivered and then shook his head. “Not yet.”

Jackson hummed in acknowledgement and then sat up on his knees, rubbing at Mark’s thighs, seeming to be zoning out. They both were fully erect and knew what was on the horizon but the energy in the air just shifted; it was no longer hot and heavy but a bit more calm and hesitant.

Mark tilted his head, trying to figure out what was going through his mind. “You good?” he asked.

Jackson looked up at him and nodded, a small smile on his lips. “Yeah. Just... I’ve been waiting for this. Feels like a dream.” he said, eyes scanning over his entire body. “You look beautiful.”

Mark blushed, while nodding in understanding. He could relate to the endearing message Jackson was trying to convey. The look on his face when he spoke the words resonated in his mind, solidifying that he knew now was the right time to do this. Jackson soon leaned over him to give him a sweet kiss on the lips. Mark was grateful for the act; he needed something to shut his brain up and cease his heart from hammering inside of his chest. “If you need me to stop, please say something. I don’t… I don’t wanna hurt you, okay?” Jackson warned. Although there was still a bit of resistance in his eyes; even a small amount of fear, Mark nodded back reassuringly.

Jackson continuously rubbed the head of his dick along his hole and Mark bit his lip. That feeling in particular, he really loved. Most of that arousal faded, however, the moment Jackson pressed inside. A sharp sting came out of nowhere when he got past the entrance and a highly unpleasant ache that felt **nothing** like fingers, followed. There was a steady stream of ‘ _Ouch_ ’es and expletives falling from Mark’s lips as he tried his damndest to deal with the intrusion. Jackson stopped moving once he got in a little past the tip and leaned back down to suck and kiss at Mark’s neck, hoping it would be a decent enough distraction.

  
  


Over time, Mark could feel himself slowly getting used to it so he took one more deep breath, before telling him to push forward, again. For a split second, Jackson struggled with choosing to drag out the pain or just get it over with. He knew Mark would hate one option in the moment, but ultimately realize it’s the better decision.

So… he chose.

He pushed all the way in to the hilt and Mark loudly gasped. His eyes closed shut while he squeezed at Jackson’s arms, his nails digging deep into the skin. Jackson hissed at the sting but took it, aware that it would never amount to what his boyfriend was currently going through. Mark started to whimper, feeling as if he were about to cry. There would never be words to describe this hurt. It felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside, out. His thighs violently shook against Jackson’s hips, desperately seeking to close but ultimately giving up, as it was impossible. Looking up at the ceiling, he blinked rapidly, hoping it would push the oncoming tears away.

Jackson felt bad, of course, attempting to shush and soothe him through it all. “I know, I know. I’m so sorry, baby.” he breathed out. “Need me to pull out?” Mark sniffed a few times and wiped the tears sitting at the edges of his lower lids. There was a big ass **YES** sitting on the tip of his tongue but he knew better; he was expecting this. And just like with fingering, it would take some time to get to the good part. If he were to go by their sexual history, this would never end _badly_ — or at least he hoped it wouldn’t. So, he sucked it up and shook his head. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay. Just… go slow. Please go slow.” Mark clarified.

Jackson waited a few seconds before he shallowly pulled out and pushed back in. Mark clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut all over again, moaning out in agony. He doesn’t understand how anybody could enjoy dealing with this and internally cursed at everybody who said bottoming would be worth it — Jinyoung, included. There was the recollection of jerking off to offset the intrusive feeling, and he tried, but even that wasn’t much help.

The shit just hurt. Plain and simple.

  
  
  


A few minutes went by when Mark could feel his arm and leg muscles starting to ache. Almost every part of his body has been rigid and he had to remind himself to _relax_. It would never get better if he was tense like this, so he willed himself to, in hopes that it could get a little easier.

And it did.

Jackson was moving at an excruciatingly slow pace, obviously for the sake of Mark, but the older could tell he was doing his best not to ram into him; the labored breaths in his ears being a dead giveaway. The strained groans were shooting shivers down Mark’s spine, his own skin starting to tingle and his body, in turn, beginning to unwind. It was a huge turn-on knowing he made Jackson feel good but an even bigger one, actually being able to hear it.

After that, everything seemed to blur.

Jackson pecked him on the lips and then sat up a bit to speed up, now that he could feel the slide was easier. A moan fell from behind Mark’s lips, the pain from before no longer present. He could feel Jackson rubbing against his walls and he knew in that moment, that this was something he wanted to experience again and again and again.

Jackson’s eyes were shut, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and pleasure, while groans tumbled around in his throat. The ecstasy that was etched onto his facial features just made Mark want to get even closer to him, needing to soak everything in. So, he reached up to frame his face, gently rubbing his cheek with his thumb. “Gaga…” he moaned, licking his lips.

Jackson’s eyes opened, albeit half lidded as well, and Mark’s breath hitched. Jackson’s pupils were blown, eyes darker than ever before. The gaze that would intimidate him in any another setting, just set him on fire, now. Sweat was running down his face, neck and chest already, his hair wet and sticking to his skin. A stream of precome flowed out of Mark upon first glance, causing him to contract onto Jackson’s length again.

“Mark.” Jackson breathed out. “Damn.” Craving for more, he pushed Mark’s legs back a little further, so that that his arms hooked around them. The new position made him sink in deeper and Mark’s eyes rolled back at the unfamiliar, yet delicious sensation. Jackson thrust into him with long, deep strokes and Mark loudly wailed into the room, placing his hands on Jackson’s thighs. There was a hard squeeze there and he suddenly stopped, thinking he might’ve gone too deep and needed to reel back. Mark desperately moved against Jackson’s cock while shaking his head. “No, no, no, don’t — keep going, baby.” he almost whined. It’s a sound he swears he’ll be too embarrassed to admit he made. Never in a million years did he think he’d lust for the feeling of a dick deep in his ass but now that he has it, he doesn’t want Jackson to ever stop fucking him like this.

Ever.

Jackson’s eyes twinkled for a second and then his dick jumped, before he continued. Hearing Mark beg for him was something he had — no, _needed_ — to hear again. Being deep inside of him was hot, almost sweltering, and Jackson knew he’d never get enough. Every shove back in, had Mark keening for more. Jackson leaned down even further and planted his elbows into the mattress, Mark’s legs pressed into his own rib cage. The two were panting hotly against each other’s mouths, not quite kissing but allowing their lips to brush every couple of seconds. Jackson dove in once more but kept his hips in place, opting to rock into him as deeply as he could. Mark’s head fell back into the pillow, his toes curling right after. “ _Jaaack._ ” he groaned. _“_ You feel s-so _good_.” The praises sent chills down Jackson’s spine, his hips nudging inward like they were attempting to reach a place nobody ever has before. Mark’s cock sat rock solid in between them, straining to reach release. He’s never been so strung out in arousal and all the doubtful thoughts he had before tonight, were now a distant memory.

Jackson sat back up on his knees, draping Mark’s legs over his shoulders and moved closer, so that they were hip-to-thigh. Jackson changed his pace to a much faster one, thrusts becoming a bit more shallow. The angle had him catching onto Mark’s prostate every so often, sending bolts of electricity through his body; a fiery-hot sensation that he was seeking for from the start. Mark’s hole would grip onto Jackson’s cock whenever he brushed against that spot, sending chills underneath Jackson’s skin. “So fuckin’ tight, baby.” he moaned, with his head tipped back in ecstasy. His eyes were closed again, feeling the need to focus on the pleasure of finally dwelling deep inside of his boyfriend.

  


Sounds of skin slapping, lube squelching and heavy breathing filled the room at this point, both boys becoming desperate to reach the end. The splash of precome that was settled on Mark’s stomach had trickled over onto the sheets by now; the younger now moving at an unforgiving speed.

Jackson’s chest rose and fell, his breathing heavy and husky as he watched Mark beginning to unravel below him. The older was covered from ears to chest in the familiar hue of red, a cue for Jackson that his release was around the corner. He wrapped his arms tightly around Mark’s thighs to keep his legs in place and pounded into him with complete abandon. “Oh my god.” Mark groaned, fist gripping onto the bedspread as his feet dangled near Jackson’s ears. There was a warmth swarming in his groin and although he wanted to draw his orgasm out a little longer  — he liked edging — he knew he was about to explode.

“J-Jackson.” Mark spoke up suddenly. His eyes could barely stay open, his arousal currently boiling at peak levels. Nothing was said after that but Jackson knew what he wanted to say. “Yeah?” he asked, slamming in even harder. Mark moaned again and then nodded. “Uh huh. Gonna — ‘m gonna come.” he forcibly whispered out.

Jackson immediately grabbed Mark’s cock and pulled relentlessly, biting on his own lip. For him, this was always the best part; watching him crumble. Mark’s body started to tremble and then he let out a loud wail. His lower body involuntarily jerked off the bed as he spilled over his stomach, eyes rolling to the back of his head. Jackson had pumped him empty before slowing down and stopping, lips parted open as he caught his breath.

When Mark’s orgasm descended, his legs fell off of Jackson’s shoulders to sit loosely around his hips, instead. “Come on.” Mark prompted, with slurred words. Although he was practically done, he knew Jackson hadn’t come yet and wanted him to get off, as well. Jackson leaned over him once again, forehead pressed against his shoulder and plunged back into him. Mark could tell Jackson was close — he was throbbing inside of him. So, he locked his feet against the small of his back and purposely clenched around the younger as he slid in and out of his body. Jackson moaned in response and sped up some more, dirty whispers falling into Mark’s ear.

A few more pumps had Jackson’s hips stuttering and then a deep, low growl rumbling from his chest as he erupted into Mark. The older stepped out of himself for a quick second, realizing that this was the first time time Jackson ever came inside of him. There was something possessive and primal about it — almost like he was being marked — and if he were to be honest, the thought of being filled up by him, was hot. He began to gently glide his hands up and down Jackson’s back, soothing him through the aftermath. There was a ton of sweat on his skin, as expected, but Mark wouldn’t have it any other way.

  


Several calm minutes passed before the two had finally come down from the high. Jackson picked his head up to look at the other. “We did it.” he murmured, seeming to almost be in shock. Mark smiled and then let out a small laugh. “Yeah… we did.” Jackson lifted himself up off of him and slowly pulled out, to lay down on the bed. It felt bizarre for Mark, being empty again, but he was still appreciative.

He was exhausted; they both were.

Jackson disappeared into the bathroom, then came back seconds later with a warm, wet washcloth. He placed it onto his skin and Mark sighed in contentment. “That feels good.” he whispered. Jackson smiled at him, wiping him down and then went back into the restroom. Mark quietly debated with himself if he should get up and shower or not, but ultimately decided he’d rather go to sleep, instead. There was an attempt to sit up but then he instantly hissed and stopped, looking straight ahead. Just that quickly, he recalled Jinyoung telling him about the pain that comes once the sex was over. Although the pain wasn’t too bad now — it was just a dull ache — he knew it might be worse in the morning. Slowly getting out of the bed, he peeled the cover and sheets back and carefully got back in. “Babe, come on. I’m sleepy.”

The bathroom lights switched off seconds later and Jackson walked back into the room, crawling into the bed. He folded his arms behind his head, glancing over at Mark, with a sly smirk. “Come closer, I won’t bite.”

Mark narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “No, I’m in pain. _You_ move closer.”

Jackson’s smile wavered as he slid closer and softly rubbed Mark’s legs. “I hurt you?” he asked, concern plastered on his face.

“Jackson… you had me folded up like a pretzel.” Mark deadpanned. He thought he’d be hesitant to say that out loud but it actually only turned him on.

Jackson squealed out into the room, somewhat embarrassed. “My bad. I got carried away.”  

Mark smiled at him. “You’re fine, babe. I loved it.”

“Not at first, right?”

“Oh, no. Definitely not.” Mark said, shaking his head. “That was — that was difficult to get past.” He saw the smile fading from Jackson’s face and quickly continued, to erase his worry. “But it was beyond worth it in the end.”

“Really?”

“Hell yeah. I’ll let you fuck me again, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Mark said with a smug smirk.

Jackson bit his lip, trying to hold his smile back. “Pinky promise.” he demanded, holding his pinky finger up.

“Ugh.” Mark rolled his eyes and turned into the other direction, playing tired of his shenanigans.

Jackson moved in close behind him and giggled to himself, draping his arm around his waist. Mark felt him leaving feathery kisses on the back of his neck and his lips pulled into a small smile. “Gaga...

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For —” Mark paused. He’s not exactly sure what he wants to thank Jackson for in particular but he’s never felt more in love, than he does right now. Jackson gave him the best night of his life, thus far and he was so grateful.

He pulled on Jackson’s hand so that he’d snuggle in even closer; his body heat always becoming a magnetic pull into a nice, rooted slumber.

**“For everything.”**

 

**//**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? ^_^
> 
>  
> 
> (P.S. I said in the last chapter that the story would start to slowly take a turn into the darker direction - hence Jackson's family drama in chapter 4. Angst is on the horizon folks. Sowwwwyyyy. Don't hate me. <3)
> 
> (P.S.S. I apologize for any errors.)


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